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THE ''''Z •• ^ 








PaatoT of th« Fint Church in connexion with th« 8hepud Society* 


' H . T 

• » • 


4 > 

BOSTON:- •• - 






a ioag L I 


Entered according to Act of Congreis, in the year 183S, by Nehe- 
miah Adami, in the Clerk's Office of the Diitriet of llaitachngottfl. 

■ ■ " « Ml ■ ■ « » M I II I ■■ 


Th£ circumstances connected withtiie publication of this 
Auto-biography are as interesting to those concerned in them 
as the book itself. The First Church in Cambridge, settled 
and built up by this great and good man Thomas Shepard, 
(after the removal of a former Chusch with their Pastors, 
Hooker and Stone, from Cambridge to Hartford, Conn.) was 
compelled a few years since, by measures too well known to 
the public, to leave their place of worship in the hands of ai 
Unitarian parish, and two or three Unitarian male members 
I of the Church. By decisions of the Supreme Court of 
Mass. the churches have been pronounced incompetent to 
retain property unless connected with an incorporated so- 
ciety. These decisions, made in opposition to a vast array 
IfA of facts, atnd contrary to the opinions of many of the most 
distinguished jurists not only of this, but of other States, 
^* have stripped the churches of property raised at the com- 
IQ munion table or given expressly for the use of the Church 
S^ by those who never dreamed that their sacred donations 
would be sequestered to the support of ^ another gospel.' The 
B^ Church in Cambridge owned a valuable set of Communion 
^f^ Plate, parts of which were purchased, as appears from the 
Records, by church funds, and the rest given by individual 
I members or friends. They had also a fund of nearly $5000, 

^ I 


constituted originaHy by a small donation from a member, 
and increased to the above>named sum entirely by contribu- 
tions at the Communion. This, however, with the Plate, 
has been claimed and recovered by the Church of the First 
Parish, and is now employed for the support -of Unitarian 
worship, and in the Unitarian celebration ofthe Sacrament. 
Individual members of the First Church have furnished their 
private plate for Communion seasons, until it became inexpe- 
dient to depend any longer upon such supply. In this extrem • 
ity, the providence of God having thrown this interesting an I 
precious manuscript Auto-biography in our way, it seemed 
good that THOMAS SHEPARDshouId have the delightful 
privilege of furnishing his Church with the means of celebra- 
ting the Ordinance of their common Saviour. Accordingly a 
number of copies of the Book sufficient to defray the expense 
of a plain but suitable Communion Service being engaged, the 
Church, at their last Communion in Nov., were led to adore 
the providence of God, in supplying their necessities in this 
Interesting and affecting manner. It required no effort of 
imagination to conceive of the feelings of Thomas Shepard, 
were he permitted to see, how that being dead he yet spake 
to us. We were therefore consoled in a measure for the 
spoiling of our goods, knowing that we are surrounded by 
such witnesses, and in the belief that an exception, filed by 
him at the Great Tribunal, to the treatment of his, and 
other churches, will come up for a hearing at the great and 
final day. 

This book which is now for the first time presented to the 
public is a rare specimen of ancient Auto-biography. It is 
in the form of a 24mo. about 5 inches by 3, bound, and con- 
taining 200 pages, 94 of which are filled with the Biogra- 
phy, Diary, and a few scattered accounts of the Author's 
pecuniary concerns. The book has evidently had many 
owners. A gentleman in Newbury (Byfield) wrote to the 
Editor that it was in the possession of another in Med£i)rd* 

On application) it was ascertained that it belonged to the 
Rev. James Blake'Howe, of Claremont, N. H., who^ upon 
an earnest request, very politely gave it to the present owner, 
in trust, for the First Church, connected (in reference to 
the decisions of the Courts) with a new Society, called the 
" Shepard Congregational Society." 

This MS. is in all probability the souree fitom which 
Cotton Mather, in the Magnalia, drew his interesting no- 
tices of Shepard. By a comparison, it will be seen that the 
extracts in the Magnalia are, verbatim, from this Biography, 

The book, in addition to the interest which it will give to 
the lovers of antiquity, and of the curiosities of religious lit- 
erature, is invaluable as a specimen of simple, childlike con- 
fidence in God, of heartfelt and earnest piety, and of an un- 
affected devotional spirit. It will l>e found highly instruc- 
tive from the minute account given of the writer's religious 
experience, in which it is believed many wiQ find great light 
and direction. 

The original orthography has been carefully preserved. 
Several sentences, afler long deliberation, have been omitted 
in the transcript, as they were conceived to be, both in mat- 
ter and manner, unsidted to what some call the fastidious- 
ness, but others the refinement and delicacy of the age. 

The avails of this book will be applied to the use of the 
Church with which the Shepard Society is connected. 






[WiA whom I leave these record* of God's great kindnem 

to him, not kiKyirin^ that I shaB Kve to tell them 

myselfe with my own mouth, that so he may 

leame to know & love the great & 

most high Crod, 


Fac- Simile of Thoma*^ S2iepard's 
tiand -writing- . 

If rf:/ 

'PeiUUmt^n'* LtOufgrapf^, Soston. . 



In the yeare of the Lord 1634, Oetob. 16 my- 
selfe, wife and family, with my first son Thomas, 
committed ourselves to the care of our God to 
keepe us on, and carry us over the mighty seas from 
old England to New England ; but we had not bin 
two days on the sea but that the wind arose and 
drave our ship almost upon the sands, where the 
Lord did most apparently stretch forth his hands in 
saving us from them when we were within a very 
little ready to be dasht in pieces upon them ; and 
this great danger of sinking, and loosing all our 
lives was twise in two several dayes, that if there 
had not bin the infinite wisdom and power of 
God to helpe us, I did not conceive how possibly 
we could have escaped in such terrible storms. 

Now one cause of our going at this time of 
winter was because we were persecuted in Old 
England for the truth of Christ which we pro- 
fessed there ; we durst not stay to make ourselves 
known there which would have bin at the bapti« 


zing of my child ; hence we hastened for New 

After that we came from the sea, my first son 
fell sick in passing from the ship to the shore in 
the boat; of which sickness, within a fortnight 
after, he died at Yarmouth in Old England, 
which was no small grief to us ; but the Lord 
preserved us, and provided for me and my wife a 
hiding-place from the knowledge of our enemies 
and from th^ir malice, by the meanes of Mrs. 
Corbet in Norfolke, in one of whose houses . we 
stayed all that hard winter with our dear friend 
Mr. Roger Harlakendon, and enjoyed a sweet 
time together in a most, retyered manner ; so the 
winter being spent, we were much perplexed 
whither to goe, and where to stay that we might 
not be known, and keepe my second child so 
secretly as that it might not be baptised until it 
came to take of that ordinance :in purity in old 
England ; and being thus doubtful what to doe, 
the Lord by letters from London called us to 
come thither, where my wife might have all helpe 
in her sickness and my child kept secret ; and 
this we concluded for to doe, and therefore tooke 
our leave of this our winter house, and in our 
way to London, we went to Mr. Burroughs his 
house a godly, able minister. 

From thi? place we went to London, and there 
the Lord provided for my wife and selfe and 


friends a very private house, where our friends 
did us all the good they could, and our enemies 
could doe us no hurt ; where my wife, on the 
sabMth day being April 5, 1636, was delivered 
ifierci fully of this 2d. sbn Thomas ; which name 
I gave him because we thought the Lord gave 
me the first son I lost on si^a in this, agayne, and 
hence gave him his brother's name. And so the 
mother growing strong the child begatat to gfow 
weake, and I did veryly thinke wbfiM have died 
of a sore mouth ; which I taking to hart, the 
Lord awakened me in the night and stirred mo 
up to pray for him, and that with very much 
ferving as I thought; and many ah'guiiients to 
presse the Lord for his life came in, as : — 

1. The glory the Lord should have by be- 
trusting me with this child, he should be the 
Lord's forever. 

2. Because this kindness would be to me fhiit in 
season, if in the time of my privacy, persecution, 
and sorrow for the losse of my first child he would 
give me this, and that other, in this. 

3. Because though it was brought very low, yet 
then was the Lord's time to remember to helpe. 

4. Because I thought if the Lord should not 
hear me now, my soule would be discouraged from 
seeking to him, because I sought for the first and 
could not prevayle for his life, and this was sore 
if the Lord should not hear me for this. 


5. Because all healing vertue was in Xt. Jesus 
hands who was very, tender of all that brought 
their sick unto him. 

6. Although my sins might hinder him from 
doing this, yet I told the Lord his mercy should 
be the more wonderfull if in healing my child of 
his sickness he would withall of my sins ; 
—and ihua after a sad heavy night the Lord 
shined v^u me in the .morning, for I found him 
suddenly and strangely amended of his sore mouth 
which I did expect would have bin his death. Oh 
the tenderness of our God 1 Remember, therefore, 
my son, this mercy of the Lord to you. Thus 
the child with the mother having recovered their 
strength, we set a second time to sea, and when 
we went, the child was so feeble that diverse of 
our friends did conclude the child could not live 
until it came to New England in a close ship: 
but the care of God was so great, that it was 
made much better by the sea, and more lively 
and strong ; and in this voyage, it and all of us 
were in danger of being drowned by a most ter- 
rible leake which the Lord stopt for us ; another 
danger in the ship that the Lord delivered it 
from was this. The ship in a storm tumbling 
suddenly on the one side, my wife having the 
child in her arms was almost pitcht with her 
head and child in her armes agaynst a post in 
the ship ; and being ready to fall shee felt her- 


selfe plucktback by shee knew not what; where- 
by shee and the child were agayne preserved ; 
and I cannot ascribe this to any other but the 
angels of God who are ministering spirits for the 
heirs of life. 

And thus after about eleven weeks sayle from 
old England, we came to New England shore : 
where the mother fell sick of a consumption and 
you my child wert put to nurse to one goodwife 
Hopkins, who was very tender of thee ; and af- 
ter we had been here diverse weekes on the 7th 
of February or there about, God gave thee the 
ordinance- of baptism, whereby God' is become 
thy God, and is before hand with thee, that 
whenever you shall return to God, he will un- 
doubtedly receive you ; and this is a most high 
and happy privilege ; and therefore blesse God 
for it. And now after that this had bin done, thy 
deare mother dyed in the Lord, departing out of 
this world to another, who did loose her life by 
being careful] to preserve thine ; for in the ship 
thou wert so feeble and froward both in the day 
and night, that hereby shee lost her strength and 
at last her life. Shee hath made also many a 
prayer and shed many a tear in secret for thee ; 
and this hath bin oft her request that if the Lord 
did not intend to glorify himselfe by thee, that he 
would cut thee off by death rather than to live to 
dishonor him by sin ; and therefore know it that 


if you shalt turne rebell agaynst God and forsake 
God, and care not for the knowledge of him nor 
to beleeve in his Spn, the Iiord w^l .n^ake all 
these mercys, woes; and all thy mother's prayers, 
teares and death to be a swift witness agaynst 
thee at the great day. 

Thus the Lord taking away thy deare .mother's 
life, the Lord takes care for ithee and preserved 
thee in health untill the spring, May 1, 1636. 
And now the hand of the Lord was strecht 
out agaynst my child ; so that he had for diverse 
weekes a sore mouth both within and without ; 
cheeks and lips full of blisters so as that he could 
eat no meat, only suck the breast, by which only 
he lived along time, which I did thinke would 
have bin its death agayne ; but the Lord being 
sought unto recovered him agayne, and then the 
humour fell into his eyes, which grew so sore 
that partly by the humour and party by the ill- 
handling and applying medicines to them, his 
eyes grew starke blind with pearles upon both 
eyes and a white film, insomuch as it was a most 
dreadfull sight unto all the beholders of him and 
very pittifull ; which was such a misery that me- 
thought now I had rather that the Lord would take 
away my child e by death than let it lead a blind 
and a miserable life : but the Lord saw my sor- 
rowes, my teares, my poore prayers which were 
in bitterness for him ; and after that I had con- 


eluded I must have a blind child to be a constant 
Borrow to me till my death, and was made to be 
contented to beare the indignation of the Lord 
because I had sinned, resolving now to feare nor 
care nor greeve no more but to be thankful], nay 
to. love the Lord, presently I say upon this by 
a poore weake meanes, vizt. the oyle ^^i^ite pa- 
per, the Lord: restored my child ]^q /his sigl^ 
suddenly and strangely, I may almost say mirac- 
ulously agayne, which was no small joy to me 
and no little encouragement to doe the Lord's 
worke that tooke so much care for me and 
mine. Now consider, my son, and remember to 
lift up thy eyes to heaven, to God in everlasting 
prayses of him and dependance upon him ; and 
take heed thou dost not make thy eyes windowes 
of lust, but give thy eyes, nay thy heart and whole 
soule and body to him that hath been so carefull 
of thee when thou couldst not care for thyselfe. 



In the yeare of Christ 1605 upon the 5 day 
of November, called the Powder treason day, 
& that very houre of the day wherin the Parla- 
ment should have bin blown up by Popish 
priests, I was then borne; which occasioned my 
father to give me this name Thomas^ because he 
sayd I would hardly beleeve that ever aoy such 
wickedness should be attempted by men agaynst 
BO religious and good Parlament. My father's 
name was William Shepard, borne in a little 
poore towne in Northamptonshire called Fos- 
secut neare Towcester, & being a prentice to 
on Mr. Bland a groser he marryed on of his 
daughters, of whom he begat many children; 
3 sons, John, William & Thomas; & 6 daugh- 
ters; An, Margaret, Mary, Elizabeth, Hestor, 
Sarah; of all which only John, Thomas, Anna 
tc Margaret are still living in the Town where 


I was born, viz. Towcester in Northamptonshire, 
6 miles distant from the towne of Northampton 
in old England. I do well remember my father 
& have some little remembrance of my mother. 
My father was a wise prudent man, the peace- 
maker of the place, & toward his latter end 
much blessed of Grod in his estate & in his.soule. 
For there being no good ministry in the town, 
he was resolved to goe & lire .at Banbury in 
Oxfordshire, under a stirring ministry having 
bought a house there for that end. My mother 
was a woman much afflicted in conscience 
sometimes even unto distraction of mind, yet 
was sweetly recovered agayne before shee died. 
I being the youngest, shee did beare exceeding 
great love to me, & made many prayers for me; 
but shee died when I was about 4 years old Sc 
my father lived & marryed a second wife now 
dwelling in the same town, of whom he beg'at 
^ children, Samuell & Elizabeth, and died when 
I was about 10 year es of age. But while my 
father & mother lived, when I was about 3 
yeares old there was a great plague in the Town 
of Towcester, which «wept away many in my 
father's family, both sisters £c servants. I 
being the youngest & best beloved of my mother 
was sent away the day the plague brake out to 
live with my aged grandfather & grandmother 
in Fossecut^ a most blind town & corner, & 


those I lived with also being very well to live 
yet very ignorant; &» there was I put to keepe 
geese & other such country woorke, all that 
time much neglected of them, & afterwards 
sent from them unto Adthrop, a little blind 
town adjoining, to my uncle, where I had 
more content but did learne to sing & sport .as 
children do in those parts, 6l dance at their 
Whitson Ales; until! the plague was removed 
& my deare mother dead, who died not of the 
plague but of some ether disease after it; & 
being come home my sister An marry ed to on 
Mr. Farmer, & my sister Margaret loved me 
much, who afterward marry ed to my father's 
prentice, viz; Mr. Mapler; & my father mar- 
ryed agayne to another woman who did let me 
see the difference between my own mother & 
a step-mother; shee did seeme not to love me but 
incensed my father agaynst me ; it may be that 
it was justly also for my childishness; & having 
lived thus for a time, my father sent me to 
schoole to a Welch man, on Mr. Rico, who 
kept the Free schoole in the town of Towces- 
ter; but he was exceeding curst & cruell & 
would deale rongly with me, & so discouraged 
me wholly frrm desire of learni cr that I re- 
member I wished oftentimes myselfe in any con- 
dition to keepe hogs or beasts rather than to 
goe to schoole & learne. , But my father was 



visited at last with sickness, having taken some 
cold upon some pills he tooke & so had the 
Hicketo with his sickness a weeke together, in 
which time I do remember I did pray very 
strongly & hartily for the life of my father, & 
made some covenant, if God would do it to 
serve him the better, as knowing I should be 
left alone if he was gone; yet the Lord tooke 
him away by death, & so I was left fatherless & 
motherless when I was about 10 yeares old, £l 
was committed to my step-mother to be edu- 
cated, who therefore. had my portion which was 
a 100 lb., which my father left me. But shee 
neglecting my education very much, my brother 
John who was my only brother alive desired to 
have me out of her hands, to have me with him, 
& he would bring me up for -the use of my por- 
tion, & so at last it was granted. And so I 
lived with this my eldest brother, who showed 
much love unto me & unto whom I owe much; 
for him God made to be both father and mother 
unto me. And it happened that the cruel! 
schoolmaster died & another came into his 
roome, to be a preacher also in the town who 
was an eminent preacher in those dayes & ac- 
counted holy, but afterward turned a great 
Apostate & enemy to all righteousness, & I 
feare did commit the unpardonable sin. Yet 
it so fell out by God's good providence that this 


man stirred up in my hart a love & desire of 
the honour of learning, & therefore I told my 
friends I would he a scholar; &. so the Lord 
blessed me in my studies & gave me some 
knowledge of the Latine & Greeke tongues, but 
much ungrounded in both. But I was studious 
because I was ambitious of learning & being a 
scholar; & hence when I could not take notes 
of the sermon, I remember I was troubled at 
it & prayed the Lord earnestly that he would 
helpe me to note sermons. And I see cause 
of woondring at the Lord's providence therein, 
for as soone as ever I had prayed (after my best 
fashion) then for it, I presently the next Sab- 
bath was able to take notes who the precedent 
Sabbath could do nothing at all that way. So I 
continued till I was about 15 yeares of age, &, 
then was conceived to be ripe for the Universi- 
ty. And it pleased the Lord to put it into my 
brother's hart to provide & to seeke to prepare a 
place for me there, which was done in this man- 
ner: On Mr. Cockerille, fellow of Emanuel 
Colledge in Cambridge, being a Northampton- 
shire man came down into the country to North- 
ampton, &, so sent for me, who upon examination 
of me gave my brother incouragement to send 
me up to Cambridge. And so I came up, & 
though I was very raw & young, yet it pleased 
God to open the harts of others to admit me 


into the Colledge a pensioner, & so Mr. Cocke^ 
rill became my Tutour. But I doe here won- 
der Sl I hope shall blesse the Lord forever in 
heaven that the Lord did so graciously provide 
for me. For I have oH thought what a wofull 
estate I had bin led in, if the Lord had left me 
in that prophane, ignorant town of Towcester 
where I was borne, that the Lord should pluck 
mee out of that sink & Sodom, who was the 
least in my father's house, forsaken of father 
& mother, yet that the Lord should fetch me 
out from thence by such a sweat hand. 

The first two years I spent in Cambridge was 
in studying and in neg'ect of G>d Sl private 
prayer which I had sometimes used, and I did 
not regard the Lord at all unless it were at 
some fits. The third yeare wherin I was Soph- 
ister I began to be foolish & proud, to show 
myselfe in the public schooles there to be a 
disputer about things which now I see I did not 
know then at all but only prated about them. 
Toward the end of this yeare, when I was most 
vile, (after I had been next unto the gates of 
death by the small pox the yeare before) the 
Lord began to call me home to the fellowship of 
hi^ grace, which was in this manner. 

1. I doe remember that I had many good 
affections (but blind & unconstant) oft cast into 
me since my father's sickness by the spirit of 


God wrastling with me; &, hence I would pray 
in secret, & hence when I was at Cambridge I 
heard old Doctor Chadderton the master of the 
Colledge when I came, & the first yeare I was 
there to heare him upon a Sacrament Day my 
hart was much affected ; biit I did brake loose 
from the Lord agayne, & half a yeare afler I 
heard Mr. Dickinson common place in the 
chappel upon these words^ '^ I will not destroy 
it for ten's sake," Gen: 19. & then agayne was 
much affected, but I shooke this off also & fell 
from God to loose Sl lewd company, to lust & 
pride & gaming & bowling & drinking; yet 
the Lord left me not, but a godly schoUar walk- 
ing with me fell to discourse about the misery 
of every man out of Xt., viz: that whatever 
they did was sin; & this did much affect me; 
& at another time when I did light in godly 
company I heard them discourse about the 
wrath of God & the terrour of it, & how intol- 
lerable it was, which they did present by fire, 
how intolerable the torment of tl^at was for a 
time; what then would eternity be? — ^this did 
much awaken me, & I began to pray agayne; 
but then by loose company I came to dispute in 
the schooles, & then to joyne to loose schollars 
of other coUedges, & was fearfully left of God, & 
fell to drinke with them, & I dranke so much 
on day that I was dead drunk, &. that upon a 

22 MEMOiRf> or 

Saturday night & was so carryed from the plac« 
I had drinked at, &. did feast at, unto a schol- 
lar's chamber, on Basset of x's. colledge; & 
knew not where I was until I awakened late on 
that Sabbath & sick with my beastly carnage, 
& when I awakened I went from him in shame 
& confusion & went out into the fealds & there 
spent that Sabbath lying hid in the cornfealds, 
where the Lord who might justly have cut me 
off in the midst of my sin, did meet me with 
much sadness of hart & troubled my soule for 
this & other my sins which then I had cause 
& ley sure to thinke of, & now when I was 
woorst he began to be best unto me, & made me 
resolve to set upon a course of dayly medita-^ 
tion about the evil! of sin & my own wayes; 
yet although I was troubled for this sin, I did 
not know my sinfull nature all this while. 

2. The Lord therefore sent Doctor Preston to 
be master of the coUedge, & Mr. Ston & others 
commending his preaching to be most spirituall 
& excellent, I began to listen unto what he 
sayd. The first sermon he preached was Rom: 
12: Be renewed in the spirit of your mind; in 
opening which point, viz., the change of hart in 
a Xian., the Lord so bored my eares as that I 
understood what he spake, & the secrets of my 
soule were laid open before me, the hypocrisy 
of all my good things I thought I had in me; &3 


if one had to]d him of all that ever I did, of all 
the turnings & deceyts of my hart; insomuch as 
that I thought he was the most searching 
preacher in the woorld; and I began to love 
him much & to blesse God I did see my frame 
dzr ray hypocrisy & selfe & secret sins; although 
I found a hard hart & could not be affected with 

3. I did therefore set more constantly, viz. 
1624, May 3, upon this worke ofdayly meditation, 
sometimes every morning, but constantly every 
evening, before supper, & my cheefe meditation 
was about the evil of sin, the terrour of God's 
wrath, day of death, beauty of xt., the deceit- 
fulness of the hart, &c. ; but principally I found 
this my misery, sin was not my greatest evil, 
did ly light upon me as yet, yet 1 was much 
afrayd of death & the flames of God's wrath; & 
this I remember, I never went out to meditate in 
the feelds, but I did find the Lord teaching me 
somewhat of myselfe or hiraselfe, or the vanity 
of the worlde I never saw before; Si, hence I 
tooke out a little booke I have into the feelds, 
dz> writ down what God taught me least I should 
forget them, Si, so the Lord encouraged me. Si, I 
grew much; but in my observation of myselfe I 
did see my Atheisme; I questioned whether 
there were a God, my unbeleefe whether xt. 
was the Messiah, whether the Scriptures were 


God's word or no; I felt all manner of tempta* 
tions to all kind of religions not knowing whidb^ 
I should choose; whether education might not 
make me beleeve what I had beleeved, d& 
whether if I had bin educated up among the 
Papists I should not have bin as verily per- 
suaded that Popery is the truth or Turcbme is 
the truth; d& at last I heard of Grindleton^ & I 
did question whether that glorious estate of 
perfection might not be the truth, d& whether 
old Mr. Rogers's Treatises & the practice of 
Xianity, the booke which did first worke upon my 
hart, whether these men were not all Legall men, 
&r there bookes so; but the Lord delivered me 
at last from them; & in the conclusion after 
many prayers, meditations &> duties, the Lord 
let me see 3 mayne wounds in my soule. 1 . I 
could not feele sin as my greatest evil. 2. 1 could 
do nothing but I did seeke myselfe in it d& was 
imprisoned there,- 61, though I desired to be a 
preacher, yet it was honour I did looke too, like 
a vile wretch in the use of God's gifts I desired 
to have. 3. I felt a depth of Atheisme & unbe- 
leefe in the maine matters of salvation, & wheth- 
er the Scriptures were God's word; these things 
did much trouble me, & in the conclusion did so 
far trouble me, that I could not read the Scrip- 
tures or hear them read without secret & hel- 
lish blasphemy, calling all into question, & all 


X's. miracles; & hereupon I fell to doubt wheth- 
eel had not committed the unpardonable sin; 
& because I did question whether X did not 
cast out devils from Beelzebub, I did thinke 
& feare ilHid; & now the terrours of the Lord 
began to breake in like floods of fire into my 
soule; for three quarters of a year this tempta- 
tion did last, & I had some strong temptations 
to run my head agaynst walls & braine & kill 
myselfe; & so I did see as I thought God's eter- 
nal reprobation of me, a fruit of which was this 
dereliction to these doubts & darkness, & I did 
see God like a consuming fire, &> an everlast- 
ing burning, & myselfe like a poor prisoner 
leading to that fire, & the thoughts of eternall 
reprobation & torment did amaze my spirits, 
especially atone time upon a sabbath day at eve- 
ning & when I knew not what to do (fori went 
to no Xian, & was ashamed to speake of these 
things) it came to my mind that I should do as 
X did; when he was in an agony, he prayed 
earnestly; & so I fell down to prayer, & being 
in prayer, I saw myselfe so unholy & God so 
holy that my spirits began to sinke ; yet the 
Lord recovered me & poured out a spirit of 
prayer upon me for free mercy & pitty, & in 
the conclusion of the prayer, I found the Lord 
helping me to see my unworthiness of any 
mercy, & that I was worthy to be cast out of 



his sight, & so leave myselfe with him to 4d 
with me what he would ; & then iSi never um'^ 
til then I found rest; & so my heart was hum- 
hied &r cast down, & I went with a stayed 
heart unto supper late that night, & rda(0d there ; 
& so the terrour of the. Lord began to assuage 
sweetly, yet when those were gone I felt my 
sheeldlessness of sin & bondage totself & unconr 
stancy & loosing what the Lord had wrought^ 
&, my hartlessness &l loathing of God's wayes; 
whereupon walking in the feeldjs the Lord 
dropt this meditation unto me: Be not discour- 
aged therefore because thou art so vile, but 
make this double use of it; 1. loathe thyselfe 
the more; 2, feele a greater neede & put a 
greater price upon Jesus x> who only can sub- 
due thee from all sin; & this I found of won- 
derfull use tp me in all my course, whereby I 
was kept from sinkings of hart, &l did beat 
Satan as it were with his own weapons; & saw 
Xt. teaching me this before any man preached 
any such thing unto me. And so the Lord did 
helpe me to loathe myselfe in some measure, & 
to say oil why should I seeke the glory d& good 
of myselfe, who am the greatest enemy^ worse 
than the devil can be agaynst myselfe, which 
selfe ruins me, & blinds mee d&c. ; & thus God 
kept my hart exercised, &, here I began to for- 
sake my loose company wholly, & to do what 


I could to worke upon the harts of other schol- 
lars, & to humble them, & to come into a way 
of holy walking in our speeches & otherwise; 
(but yet I had no assurance that xt. was mine.) 

4. The Lord therefore brought Dr. Preston 
to preach from that text 1 Cor. 1: 30, Xt. is 
made unto us wisdom, righteousness, sanctifi- 
cation & redemption; £l when he had opened 
how air the good I had, all the redemption I 
had, it was from Jesus xt., I did then begin to 
prise him, & he became very sweet unto me, 
although I had heard many a time xt. freely 
offered by his ministry if he would come in, & 
receive him as Lord&r Saviour & husband; but 
I found my heart ever unwilling to accept of 
xt. upon these grounds; I found them impossi- 
ble for me to keepie that condition, & xt. was 
not so sweet as my lust, but now the Lord made 
himself sweet to me & to embrace him & to 
give up myselfe unto him; but yet after this I 
had many feares & doubts. 

5. I found therefore the Lord revealing free 
mercy, & that all my helpe was in that, to give 
me xt., & so to enable me to beleeve in xt., 
& accept of him, 6l here I did rest. The Lord 
also letting mee see my constant vileness in 
everything. 6. Put mee to this question: why 
did the. Lord Jesus keepe the Law? [Hee] 
had no guile in his hart, & had no unbrokenness, 


but holiness there. Was it not for them that 
did want it; & here I saw xt. Jesus' righteous* 
ness for a poore sinner's ungodliness: but jet 
questioning whether ever the Lord would ap- 
ply this 6l give this unto mee. 

7. The Lord made mee see that so many as 
received him, he gave power to become the sons 
of God, John 1: 12; & I saw the Lord gave 
me a hart to receive xt., wjth a naked hand 
even a naked Xt., & so hee gave me peace. 

And thus I continued till I was 6yeares stand- 
ing, &r then went halfe a yeare before I was 
Master of Arts, to Mr. Weld's house at Tar- 
ling, where I enjoyed the blessing of his & Mr. 
Hooker's ministry at Chelmsford; but before I 
came there I was very solicitous what would 
become of me when I was Master of Arts; for 
then my time & portion would be spent, but 
when I came thither d& had bin there some little 
season until I was ready to be Master of Arts, 
Dr. Wilson had purposed to get me upon a lec« 
ture, & give 80 lb. per annum for the mainte- 
nance of it; & when I was among those worthies 
in Essex, where we had monthly fasts, they did 
propound it unto mee to take the Lecture & to 
set it up at a great town in Essex called Gogs- 
hall. And so Mr. Weld especially prest me 
unto it & wished me to seeke God about it; 
& after fasting & prayer, the ministers in those 



parts of £ssex had a day of humiliation & they 
did seeke the Lord for direction where to place 
the Lecture, & toward the evening of that day 
they began to consider whether I should goe 
to Cogshall or not. Most of the ministers were 
for it, because it was a great town, & they did 
not know any place that did desire it but they. 
Mr. Hooker only did object -agaynst my going 
thither, for being but young & unexperienced, 
& there being an old yet sly & malicious minis- 
ter in the town, who did seem, to give waye to 
it to have it there, did therefore say it was dan- 
gerous for little birds to build under the nests 
of old ravens & kites. But while they were 
thus debating it, the town of Earles-Colne 
being 3 miles off from Essex, hearing that there 
was such a lecture to be given freely, & con- 
sidering that the lecture might convict that 
poore towne, they did therefore just at this time 
of the day come to the place where the minis- 
ters met, viz. at Tarlingin Essex to desire that 
it might be settled there for three yeares (for 
no longer was it to continue in any place be- 
cause it was conceived if any good was done, 
it would be within such a time, & then if it went 
away from them, the people in a populous 
towne would be glad to maintayne the man 
themselves, or if no good was done it was pitty 
they should have it any longer.) When they 



thus came for it the ministers with one joyut 
consent advised me to accept of the people'^ 
call, & to stay amimg them, if I found upon my 
preaching a little season with them that tkey still 
continued in their desires for mf continuance 
there. Thus I, who was so young, so weake, 
unexperienced & unfit for so great a woorke^ 
was called out by 12 or 16 ministers of xt. to 
the woorke, which did much incourage my hart 
& for the Lord's goodness herein I shall I hope 
never forget his love, for I might have been 
cast away upon a blind place without the helpe 
of any ministry about me ; I might have been 
sent to some gentleman's house to have bin 
corrupted with the sins in it; but this I have 
found, the Lord was not content to take me 
from one town to another, but from the woorst 
town I thinke in the woorld to the best place 
for knowledge & learning, viz., to Cambridge, 
& there the Lord was not content to give me 
good meanes, but the best meanes, & minis- 
try & help of private Xtians., for Dr. Preston &> 
Mr. Goodwin were the most able men for 
preaching Xt. in this latter age; & when I 
came from thence, the Lord sent me to the best 
county in England, viz., to £ssex, & set me in 
the midst of the best ministry in the country, by 
whose monthely fasts & conferences I found 
much of God, & thus the Lord Jesus provided 


fi»r me of all things of the best. So being re* 
«olved to goe unto Earles-Colne in Essex^ after 
my commencing Mr. of Arte, & my sinful taking 
of ofders about a fortnight after of the Bishop 
of Peterborew, viz., B. Dove; I came to the 
town & boarded in Mr. Cosins his house, an 
aged but godly & cheerful xtian & school- 
master in the town, by whose society I was 
much refreshed, there being not one man else 
in all the town that had any godliness but him, 
that I could understand; so having preached 
upon the Sabbath day out of 2. Cor. 5. 19., all 
the town gave me a call, & set to their hands in 
writing, & so I saw God would have me to be 
there, but how to be there & continue there I 
could not tell; yet 1 sinfully got a license to 
officiate the cure of the Bishop of London's 
register before my name was known; by ver- 
tue of that I had much helpe, but when I had 
been here awhile & the Lord had blessed my 
labours to diverse in & out of the town, espe- 
cially to the cheef house in the town, the Pria« 
ry, Mr. Harlakinder's children, where the Lord 
wrought mightily upon his eldest son, Richard, 
(now dwelling there) d& afterward on Mr. Rog- 
er, who came over with mee to New England 
& dyed here, Satan began to rage, & the Com- 
missaries, registers, & others to pursue me & 
to threaten me, as thinking I was a Noncon- 


formable man; (when for the most of that time 
I was not resolved either way, but was darke in 
those things) yet the Lord having woorke to 
do in the place kept me a poore ignorant thing 
agaynst them all untill such time as my woorke A 
was done, by strange & wonderful! means. Not- 
withstanding, all the malice of the ministers 
round about me, the Lord had one way or 
other to deliver me. The course I tooke in my 
preaching was 1 . to shew the people their mis-* 
ery. 2. The remedy, xt. Jesus. 3. How they 
should walke answerable to his mercy being re- 
deemed by xt, ^^ so I found the Lord putting 
forth his strength in my extreame weakness, & 
not forsaking of me when I was so foolish as I 
have wondered since why the Lord hath done 
any good to mee 61, by mee. So the time of 3 
yeares being expired the people would not let 
me goe, but gathered about d£40 yearly for me, 
& so I was intended to stay there if the Lord 
would, & prevayled to. set up the lecture in the 
town of Towcester, where I was borne, as know- 
ing no greater love I could express to my poore 
freends than thus; & so Mr. Ston (Dr. Wilson 
giving way thereto) had the lecture & went to 
Towcester with it, where the Lord was with him, 
&r thus I saw the Lord's mercy following me to 
make me a poor instrument of sending the gos- 
pell to the place of my nativity. 


f So when I had preached awhile at Earles- 

Colne ahout half a yeare, the Lord saw me un- 
fit & unworthy to continue me there any longer, 
& so the Bishop of London Mountaigne heing 
removed to Yorke, & Bishop Laud (now Arch- 
Bishop) coming in his place as a fierce enemy 
to all righteousness &, a man fitted of God to 
be a scourge to his people, he presently (not 
having been long in the place) but sent for me 
up to London, & there never asking me wheth- 
er I would subscribe, (as I remember) but what 
I had to do to preach in his Diocesse, chiding 
also Dr. Wilson for setting up this lecture in 
his Diocesse. Ailer many ray ling speeches 
agaynst me, forbad me to preach, & not on]y 
so, but if I went to preach, any where else his 
hand would reach me; & so God put me to si- 
lence there, which did somewhat humble me, 
for I did thinke it was for my sins the Lord did 
set him thus agaynst me — ^yet when I was thus 
silenced the Lord stirred me up freends. The 
house of the Harlakinders were so many fathers 
& mothers to me, & they & the people would 
have me live there, tho, I did nothing but stay in 
the place, but remayneing about halfe a yeare 
afler this silencing among them, the Lord let 
me see into the evill of the English Ceremonies, 
Crosse, surplice and kneeling; and the Bishop 
of London^ viz., Laud^ comming down to visit, 


he cited me to appeare before him at the conrt 
of Reldon, where I appearing he asked me what 
I did in the place, & I told him I stodyed; he 
asked me what? I told him the Others; he re- 
plyed I might thank him for that, yet charged 
me to depart the place. 1 asked hidl whither I 
should goe; to the University, said he. I told 
him I had no meanes to subsist there ; yet he 
charged me to depart the place. Now about 
this time I had great desire to change my es- 
tate; and I had biii praying 8 yeares before 
that the Lord would carry me to such a place 
where T might have a meet yoke-fellow, and I 
had a call at this tiaie to goe to Yorkshire, to 
preach there in a gentleman's house; but I did 
not desire to stir till the Bishop fired me out of 
this place; for the Bishop having thus charged 
me to depart, and being 2 dayes after to visit at 
Dunmow in Essex, Mr. Weld, Mr. Daniel Rog- 
ers, Mr. Ward, Mr. Marshall, Mr. Wharton 
consulted together whether it was best to let 
such a swine to root ap God's plants in Essex, 
and not to give him some check, whereupon it 
was agreed upon privately at Braintry, that 
some should speake to him and give him a 
check; so Mr, Weld and I travilling together 
had some thought of going to New England, but 
we did thinke it best to goe unto Ireland and 
preach there, and to goe by Scotland thither ; 


bat when we came to the church, Mr. Weld 
•tood and heard without (being excommunicated 
by him.) I being now free went within, and 
after sermon Mr. Weld went up to hear the 
Bishop speake, and being scene to follow the 
Bishop, tbe first thing he did was to examine 
Mr. Weld what he did to follow him, and to 
stand upon holy ground; thereupon he was com- 
mitted to the Pursevant and bound over to 
answer it at the high Commission; but when 
Mr. Weld was pleading for himself and that it 
was ignorance that made him come in, the Bish* 
op asked whither he intended to goe, whether 
to New England, and if so whether I would goe 
with him. While he was thus speaking I came 
into the crowd and heard the words, others bid 
me goe away but neglecting to do it, a godly 
man pulled me away with violence out of tho 
crowd; and as soon as ever I was done the 
Apparitor calls for Mr. Shepard and the Purse- 
vant was sent presently after to finde me out, 
but he that pulled me awa^ (Mr. Holbeech by 
name, a schoolmaster at Felsted in Essex) has- 
tened our horses, and away we rid as fast as we 
could, and so the Lord delivered us out of the 
hand of that lyon a third time; and now I per- 
ceived I could not stay in Colne without dan- 
ger, and hereupon receiveing a letter from Mr. 
Ezekiel Rogers, then living at Rowly in York- 


shire to encourage me to come to the knight's 
house, called Sir Richard Darley, dwelling at a' 
town called Buttetcrambe, and the knight's two 
sons, viz. Mr. Henry and Mr. Richard Darlej, 
promising me £20 a y eare for their part, and the 
knight promising me my table, and the letters 
sent to me crying with that voyce of the man of 
Macedonia, come and help us; hereupon I re- 
solved to follow the Lord to so remote and 
strange a place, the rather because I might be 
far from the hearing of the malicious Bishop 
Laud, who had threatened me if I preached any 
where. So when I was determined to goe, the 
gentleman sent a man to me to be my guide in 
my journey, who comming for me, with much 
greefe of hart I forsook Essex and Earles-Colne 
and they me; going as it were now I knew not 

So as we traviled (which was 5 or 6 days 
together neare unto Winter) the Lord sent much 
raine and ill weather, insomuch as the floods 
were up when we came neare Yorkshire, and 
hardly passable ; at last we came to a towne 
called Ferrybrig, where the waters were up and 
ran over the bridge for halfe a mile together and 
more ; so we hired a guide to lead us, but when 
he had gone a little way the violence of the wa- 
ter was such that he first fell in, and afler him 
another man, who was neare drowning before 


ray eyes, whereupon my hart was so smitten with 
^re of the dang'er, and my head so dizyed with 
the running of the water, that had not the Lord 
immediately upheld me and my horse also, and so 
provided it, I had certainly perished that rout, 
but the liOrd was strong in my weaknes. We 
went on by some little direction upon the bridge, 
and at last I fell in, yet in a place where the waters 
were not so violent but I sate i!pon my horse, 
which being a very good horse clambered up 
upon the bridge agayne, but Mr. Darley's man 
for feare of me, fell in also but came out safe 
agayne and so we came to the dry land, where we 
had a house and shided ourselves and went to 
prayer and blest God for the wonderful preser* 
vation of us, and the Lord made me then to pro- 
fesse that I now looked upon my life as a new 
life given unto me, which 1 saw good reason to 
give up unto him and his service, and truly 
about this time the Lord that had only dealt gent- 
ly with me before, began to afflict me and let 
me taste how good it was to be under his tutour- 
ing, so I came to Yorke late upon Saturday 
night, and having refresht ourselves there, I 
came to Buttercrambe to Sir Rxhird's house 
that night very wet and late, which is about 1 
miles off from Yorke. 

Now as soon as I came into the house I found 
diverse of them at Dice and Tables. Mr« 



Richard Darley one of the brothers being to re- 
turn to London the Munday afler and being 
desirous to hear me preach, sent me speedily to 
my lodgings (the best in the house) and so I 
preached the day afler once and then he depart- 
ed the day afler, having carefully desired my 
comfortable abode there, but I do remember I 
never was so low sunk in my spirit as about this 
time, for, 1. I was now far from all freends, 2. 
I was I saw in a profane house, not any sin- 
cerely good. 3. I was in a vile wicked town 
and country. 4. I was unknown and exposed 
to all wrongs. 5. I was unsufiicient to do any 
woorke, and my sins were- upon me^ and here- 
upon I was very low and sunke deepe, yet the 
Lord did not leave me comfortless, for tho the 
Lady was churlish, yet Sir Richard was ingeni- 
ous, and I found in the house 3 servants, viz. 
Tho. Fugill, Mrs. Margaret Tauteville, the 
knight's kinswoman, that was afterwards my 
wife, and Ruth Bushel! (who married to Ed- 
ward Michelson) very carefull of me, which 
somewhat refreshed me, but it happened that 
when I had bin there a little while there was a 
marriage of one Mr. Allured, a most prophane 
young gentleman, to Sir Richard's daughter. I 
was desired to preach at their marriage, at which 
sermon the Lord first toucht the hart of Mrs. 
Margaret with very great terrors for sin, and her 


Christless estate, whereupon others began to 
locJce about them, especially the gentlewoman 
lately married, Mrs. Allured ; and the Lord 
brake both their hearts very kindly, then others 
in the family, viz. Mr. Allured. He fell to fast- 
ing and prayer and great reformation ; others 
also were reformed and their hearts changed, 
the whole family brought to external duties; 
but I remember none in the town or about it 
brought home ; and thus the Lord was with me 
and gave us favour and freends and respect of 
all in the family j and the Lord taught me much 
of his goodness and sweetness, and' when he 
had fitted a wife for me he then gave me her, 
who was a most sweet humble woman full of 
Christ, and a very discerning- Xtian.; a wife, 
who was most incomparably loving to me and 
every way amiable and holy and endued with 
a very &weet spirit of prayer; and thus the Lord 
answered my desires, when my adversaries in- 
tended most hurt to me, the Lord was then best 
unto me and used me the more kindly in every 
place; for the Lord turned all the sons and Sir 
Richard and Mr. Allured so unto me that they not 
only gave her freely to be my wife, but enlarged 
her portion also; and thus I did marry the best 
and fittest woman in the woorld unto me, after I 
had preached in this place about a 12 month; for 
which mercy to me, in my exiled condition in a 


strange place I did promise the Lord that this 
mercy should knit my hart the nearer to him 
and that his love should constrain me ; but I have 
ill requited the Lord since that time; and forgot 
myself and my promise also. 

But now when we were marryed in the yeare 
1632, shee was unwilling to stay at Butter- 
crambe, and I saw no means or likelyhood of 
abode there, for Bishop Neale comming up to 
Yorke, no freends could procure my liberty of 
him without subscription ; and hereupon the 
Lord gave me a call to Northumberland, to a 
town, called Heddon, 5 miles beyond Newcastle^ 
which when I had considered of and saw no 
place but that to goe unto, and saw the people 
very desirous of it, and that I might preach there 
in peace being far from any Bishops I did resolve 
to depart thither, and so being accompanied with 
Mr. Allured to the place I came not without 
many feares of enemies and my poore wife full 
of fears. It was not a place of subsistence with 
any comfort to me there; but the good Lord, 
who all my life followed me, made this place the 
fittest for me, and I found many sweet freends 
and Xtian acquaintance, Mrs. Sherbourne 
maintaining me, and Mrs. Fenwick lending us 
the use of her house, so God comforted us in 
our solitary and yet marryed condition many 


Now when I was here the Lord blest my la- 
bours both to the saynts and sundry others about 
Newcastle, and I came here to read & know more 
of the Ceremonies, Church government and es- 
tate, and the unlawful standing of Bishops than 
in any other place. I lived at Mrs. Fenwick's 
house for a time about a 12 month or half a yeare, 
and then we went and dwelt alone in a town neare 

Heddon called -^ , in a house which we fouitid 

haunted with the devil as we conceived, for 
when we came in to it a known witch went out 
of it, and being troubled with noyses 4 or 5 
nights together, we sought God by prayer to re- 
move so sore a tryall, and the Lord heard and 
blest us there and removed the trouble, but after 
we were settled the Bishop put in a Priest, who 
would not suffer me to preach publikely any 
more. Hereupon the meanes was used to the 
Bishop of Durham, Bishop Morton and he pro- 
fessed he durst not give me liberty because 
Laud had taken notice of me, so I preached up 
and down in the country, and at last privately 
in Mr. Fenwick's house, and there I stayed till 
Mr. Cotton, Mr. Hooker, Ston, Weld went to 
New England, and hereupon most of the godly 
in England were awakened and intended much 
to goe to New England, and I having a call by 
diverse freends in New England to come over, 

and many in Old England desiring me to goe over 



and promising to goe with roe I did hereapon 
resolve to goe tbither, especially considering the 
season, and thus the Lord blest me in this darke 
country and gave me a son called Thomas, Anno 
1633 ; my poore wife being in sore extremities 
4 dayes by reason she had an unskilful midwife ; 
but as the affliction was very bitter, so the Lord 
did teach me much by it, and 1 had need of it, 
for I began to grow secretly proud and full of sen- 
suality delighting my soul in my deare wife 
more than in my God, whom I had promised bet- 
ter unto, and my spirit grew fierce in some 
things, and secretly mindless of the souls of the 
people, but the Lord by this affliction of my wife 
learnt me to desire to'feare him more and to 
keep his dread in my hart; and so seeing I had 
bin tossed from the South to the Morth of Eng- 
land and now could goe no farther, I then began 
to listen to a call to New England. 

The reasons, which swayed me to come to N. 
E. were many. 1. I saw no call to any other 
place in Old England nor way of subsistence in 
peace and comfort to. me and my family, 2. 
Diverse people in Old England of my dear 
freends desired me to goe to N. E. there to live 
together, and some went before and writ to me 
of providing a place for a company of us, one of 
which was John Bridge, and I saw diverse fam- 
ilies of my ' xtian freends, who were resolved 
^•♦her to goe with me. 


3. I saw the Lord departed from England 
when Mr. Hooker and Mr. Cotton were gone, 
and I saw the harts of most of the godly set and 
bent that way, and I did think I should feele ma« 
ny miseries if I stayed behind. 

4. My judgement was then convinced not 
only of the evil of ceremonies, but of mixt com- 
munion, and joyning with such in sacraments, 
tho, I ever judged it lawfull to joyne with them 
in preaching. 

5. I saw it my duty to desire the fruition of 
all God's ordinances, which I could not enjoy in 
Old England. 

6. My dear wife did much long to see me 
settled there in peace and so put me on to it. 

7. Although it was true I should stay and 
suffer for Xt. yet I saw no rule for it now the 
Lord had opened a doore of escape; otherwise 
I did incline much to stay and miSter especially 
after our sea stormes. 

8. Tho' my ends were mixt and I looked much 
to ray own quiet, yet the Lord let me see the 
glory of those Liberties in N. England, and 
made me purpose, if ever I come over, to live 
among God's people as one come out from the 
dead, to his praise; tho' since I have scene as 
the Lord's goodness, so my own exceeding 
weakness to be as good as I thought to have bin, 
and although they did desire me to stay in the 


North ^nd preach privately yet, 1 . I saw that 
this time could not be long without trouble from 
King Charles. 

2. I saw no reason to spend ray time private- 
ly when I might possibly exercise my talent 
publikely iaN. E, 

3. I did hope my going over might make them 
to follow me. 

4. I considered how sad a thing it would be 
for me to leave my wife and child (if I should 
dy in that rude place of the North) where was 
nothing but barbarous wickedness generally, 
and how sweet it would be to leave them among 
God's people tho' poore. 

5. My liberty in private wasdayly threatened, 
and I thought it wisdom to depart before the 
Pursevants came out, for so I might depart with 
more peace and lesser trouble and danger to me 
and my freezMis, and I knew not whether God 
would have me to hazard my person and com- 
fort of me and all mine, for a disorderly manner 
of preaching privately (as it was reputed) in 
those parts, so after I had preached my farewell 
sermon at Newcastle I departed from the North 
in a ship laden with coles for Ipswich, about the 
beginning of June, after J had bin about a year 
in the North the Lord having blest some few 
sermons and notes to diverse in Newcastle, from 
whom I parted filled with their love, and so the 


Lord gave us a speedy voyage from thence to 
Ipswich in Old England, whether I came in a 
disguised manner with my wife and child and 
mayd, and stayed awhile at Mr. Russel's house, 
another while at Mr. Collins, his house, and then 
went down to Essex to the town where I had 
preached, viz. Earles-Colne to Mr. Richard 
Harlakenden's house where I lived privately 
with much love from them all ; as also from Mr. 
Joseph Cooke, and also with freends at London 
and Northamptonshire. Truly I found this 
time of my life wherein I was so tossed up and 
downe and had no place of settling, but kept 
secret in regard of the Bishops, the most uncom- 
fortable and fruitless time to my own soul es- 
pecially that ever I had in my life; therefore I 
did long to be in N. E. as soon as might be, 
and therefore there being diverse godly xtians 
resolved to goe toward the latter end of the yeare, 
if I would goe; I did therefore resolve to goe 
that yeare, the end of the summer I came from 
the North; and the time appointed (or the ship 
to goe out was about a month or fortnight before 
Michaelmas (as they here call it.) The ship 
was called the Hope of Ipswich, the master of 
it (a very able seaman) was Mr. Gurling, who 
professed much love to me, who had got this 
ship of 400 tun from the Danes, and as some 
report, it was by some fraud; but he denyed it 


and being a man very loving and full of fayre 
promises of going at the time appointed, and 
an able seaman; hence we resolved to adventure 
that time tho' dangerous in regard of the ap- 
proaching winter. Now here the Lord's won- 
derfull terrour and mercy to us did appeare. 

For being come to Ipswich with my family at 
the time appointed the ship was not ready and 
we stayed. 6 or 8 weeks- longer than the time 
promised for her going; and so it was very late 
in the yeare, and very dangerous to goe to sea, 
and indeed if we had gone, doubtless we had all 
perished upon the seas, it being so eiitreame 
cold and tempestuous winter; but yet we could 
not goe back when we had gone so far, and the 
Lord saw it good to chastise us for rushing on- 
ward too soone, and hazarding ourselves in that 
manner^ and I had many feares and much dark- 
ness (I rem^ttitier) overspread my soule, doubt- 
ing of our way, yet I say we could not goe back 
only I learnt from that time never to goe about 
a sad businesse in the darke, unless God's call 
within as well as that without be very strong 
and cleare and comfortable, so that in the year 
1634, about the beginning of the winter, we set 
saile from Harwich, and having gone some few 
leagues on to the sea; the wind stopt us that 
night and so we cast anchor in a dangerous 
place, and on the morning the wind grew fierce 



and rough agaynst us full, and drave us toward 
the sands, but the vessel being laden too heavy 
at the head would not stir for all that which the 
seamen could doe, but drave us full upon the 
sands neare Harwich harbour; and the ship did 
grate upon the sands, and was in great danger; 
but the Lord directed one man to cut some ca- 
ble or rope in* the ship and so shee was turned 
about and was beaten quite backward toward 
Yarmouth, quite out of our way; but while 
the ship was in this great danger, a wonderfull 
miraculous providence did appear to us, for one 
of the seamen, that he might save the vessel 
fell in when it was in that danger, and so was 
carryed a mile or more from the ship, and given 
for dead and gone; the ship was then in such 
danger that none could attend to follow him; 
and when it was out of the danger it was a very 
great hazard to the lives of any that would take 
the skiph and seek to find him; yet it please^ 
the Lord that being discerned afar off floating 
upon the waters, 3 of the seamen adventured 
out upon the rough waters, and at last about an 
houre after he fell into the sea (as we appre- 
hended) they came and found him floating upon 
the waters, never able to swim, but supported 
by a divine hand all this while, when the men 
came to him they were glad to find him, but 
concluded he was dead, and so got him into the 


skiph, and when he was there tumbled him down 
as one dead, yet one of them said to the rest let 
us use what meanes we can if there be life to 
preserve it. And thereupon turned his head 
downward for the water to run out, and having 
done so, the fellow began to gaspe and breathe, 
then they applied other meanes they had ; and 
so he began at last to move and then to speake 
and by that time he came to ship he was 
pretty well and able to walke; and so the Lord 
shewed us his great power, whereupon a godly 
man in the ship then sayd this man's danger and 
deliverance is a type of ours, for he did feare 
dangers were neare unto us and that yet the 
Lord's power hould be shewn in saving of us, 
for so indeed it was; for the wind did drive us 
quite backward out of our way and gave us no 
place to anchor at until we came unto Yar- 
mouth rodes, an open place at sea yet fit for an- 
chorage, but otherwise a very dangerous place, 
and so we came thither thorow many uncomfort- 
ble hazards within 30 hours and cast anchor in 
Yarmouth rodes, which when we had done upon 
a Saturday morning the Lord sent a most dread- 
full, and terrible storm of wind from the West, 
so dreadfull that to this day the seamen call it 
Windy Saturday ; that it also scattered many 
ships in diverse coasts at that time, and diverse 
ships were cast away, one among the rest which 


was the seaman's ship who came with us from 
New Castle was cast away and he and all his 
were perished, but when the wind thus arose 
the master cast all his anchors, but the storm 
was so terrible that the anchors broke and the 
ship drave toward the sands where we could not 
be cast awaj; whereupon the master cries out 
that we were dead men, and thereupon the 
whole company goe to prayer, but the vessel 
drave so neare to the sands that the master shot 
off two pieces of ordnance to the town for heipe 
to save the passengers. The town perceived it 
and lOOOds came upon the walls of Yarmouth, 
and looked upon us, hearing we were New £ns^- 
land men, and pittyed much and gave us for 
gone, because they saw other ships perishing 
neare unto us at that time ; but could not send 
any helpe unto us, tho' much mony was offered 
by some to hazard themselves for us; so the 
master, not knowing what to do, it pleased the 
Lord that there was one Mr. Cork a drunken 
fellow but no seaman, yet one that had bin at 
sea of\en, would come in a humour unto New 
England with us; whether it was to see the 
country or no I cannot tell, but sure I am God 
intended it for good urto us to make him an in- 
strument to save all our lives; for he persuaded 
the master to cut down his mainemast. The 
master was unwilling to it, and besotted, not 



50 MEMOIRS or 

sensible of ours and his own losse. At last this 
Cork calls for hatchets, tells the master if joa 
be a man save the lives of your passengers, cut 
down your mainemast. Hereupon he encoura- 
ged all the company, who were forlorne and 
hopeless of life, and the seamen presently cut 
down the mast aboard, just at that very time 
wherein we all gave ourselves for gone to see 
neither Old nor New England, nor faces of 
freends any more, there being neare upon .200 
passengers, and so when the mast was down, 
the master had one little anchor left, and cast it 
out, but the ship was driven away toward the 
sands still, and the seamen came to us and bid 
us looke (pointing to the place) where our 
graves should shortly be; conceiving also that 
the wind had broken off this anchor also; so the 
master professed he had done what he could, 
and therefore now desired us to goe to prayer, 
so Mr. Norton in one place and myself in an- 
other part of the ship, he with the passengers 
and myself with the mariners above decks, went 
to prayer and committed our soules and bodies 
unto the Lord that gave them; immediately af- 
ter prayer the wind began to abate and the ship 
stayed, for the last anchor was not broke (as we 
conceived) but only rent up with the wind and 
so drave, and was drawn along plowing the 
sands with the violence of the wind; which 


abating after prayer (tho' still very terrible) the 
ship was stopt just when it was leady to be 
swallowed up of the sands, a very little way off 
from it; and so we rid it out, yet not without 
fear of our lives, tho' the anchor stopt the ship; 
because the cable was let out so far that a little 
rope held the cable, and the cable, the little an- 
chor, and the little anchor the great ship in this 
great storme, but when one of the company per- 
ceived that we were so strangely preserved, had 
these woords, ^HhaX threed we hang by will save 
us;" for so we accounted of the rope fastened 
to the anchor, in comparison of the fierce storme; 
and so indeed it did, the Lord shewing his dread- 
ful power towards us, and yet his unspeakable 
rich mercy to us, who in depths of mercy heard, 
nay helped us, where we could not cry throw 
the disconsolate fears we had, out of these 
depths of seas and miseries; this d«liTerance was 
so great that I then did thinke if ever the Lord 
did bring me to shore agayne I would live like 
one come and risen from the dead. This is one 
of those living mercies the Lord hath shown me, 
a mercy to myselfe, to my wife and child then 
living, and unto my deare freends then with me 
viz. brother Champney, Frost, Goff and diverse 
others, most deare saints; and also to all with 
me, and how would the name of the Lord suffer- 
ed, if we had so perished; that the Lord Jesus 

62 MEMOIRS or 

should have respect to me so vile and one at 
that time full of many temptations and weak- 
nesses, amazed much, and deeply afrayd of 
God's terrour, yet supported.' 

I desire this mercy may be remembered of 
my children and their children's children when 
I am dead^ and cannot prayse the Lord in the 
land of the living any more; and so we contin- 
ued that night, many sick, many weake, and 
discouraged, many sad harts; yet upon the 
Sabbath morning we departed and went out of 
the ship; I feare a little too soone for we should 
have spent that day in praysing of him, yet we 
were afraid of neglecting- a season of providence ' 
in going out while we had a calm^ and many 
fiick folke were unfit for that woorke and had 
need of refreshing at shore. So upon the Sab- 
bath day morning boats came to our vessel from 
the town; and so my deare wife and child went 
in the first boat, but here the Lord saw that 
these matters were not sufiicient to wash away 
my filth and sinfulness and therefore he cast me 
into the fire as soon as ever I was upon the sea 
in the boat, for there my first borne child very 
precious to my soule^ and dearly beloved of me 
was smitten with sickness, the Lord sent a 
vomiting upon it whereby it grew faint and no- 
thing that we could use could stop its vomiting 
althio we had many helps at Yarmouth and thia 


was a very bitter affliction to me and the Lord 
now showed me my weake faith, want offeare, 
pride, carnall content, immoderate love of crea- 
tures, and of my child especially, and begat in 
me some desires and purposes to feare his name; 
but yet the Lord would not be intreated for the 
life of it and afler a fortnight's sickness at last it 
gave up the ghost, when its mother had given it 
up to the Lord and was buried at Yarmouth, where 
I durst not be present least the Pursevants should 
apprehend me and I should be discovered which 
was a great affliction and very bitter to me and 
my deare wife, and hereby 1 saw the Lord did 
come neare to me, and I did verily feare the 
Lord would take away my wife also, if not my- 
selfe not long afler and these afflictions together 
with the Lord's crossing us and being so direct- 
ly agaynst our voyage made me secretly willing 
to stay and suffer in England and jny hart was 
not so much toward New England, yet this sat- 
isfied me that seeing there was a dore opened 
of escape, why should I suffer, and I considered 
how unfit I was to goe to such a good land with 
such an unmortified hard darke formall hypo- 
criticall hart and therefore no wonder if the 
Lord did thus crosse me; and the Lord made 
me feare my affliction came in part for running 
too far in a way of separation from the Assem- 
blies in England, tho' I blesse God I have ever 


54 MEMOIRS or 

believed there are true churches in many fmr- 
ishes in En^and where the Lord sets up able 
men and ministers of his gospell; and I have 
abhorred to refuse to heare any able minister in 
England; so that now having buried my first 
borne and being in great sadness and not know* 
ing where to goe nor what to doe, the Lord sent 
Mr. Roger Harlakenden and my brother Samu- 
el Shepard to visit me afler they had heard of 
our escape at sea, who much refreshed us and 
clave to me in my sorrowes, and being casting 
about where to goe and live, Mr. Bridge their 
minister in Norwich sent for me to come and 
live with him, and being come, one Mrs. Oor- 
bett, who lived five miles off Norwich an aged 
eminent godly gentlewoman hearing of my com- 
ming and that by being with Mr. Bridge mig-ht 
hazLrd his liberty by countenancing of me, she 
did therefor* freely offer to me a great house of 
hers standing empty at a towne called Bastwick, 
and there the Lord stird up her hart to shew all 
love to me, which did much lighten and sweet- 
en my sorrowes, and I saw the Lord Jesus' 
care herein to me and saw cause of trusting 
him in times of straits, who set me in such a 
place, where I lived for half a yeare all the 
winter long among and with my friends (Mr, 
Harlakenden dwelling with me bearing all the 
charge of housekeeping) and far from the no* 


tice of my enemies, where we enjoyed sweet 
fellowship one with another and also with God, 
in a house which was fit to entertayne any prince 
for faireness, greatnes and pleasantness. Here 
the Lord hid us all the winter long, and when it 
w^|s fit to travayle in the Spring we went up to 
London, Mr. Harlakenden not forsaking me all 
this while, for he was a father and mother to 
me, and when we came to London to Mrs. 
Sherborne not knowing what to doe nor where 
to live privately, the Lord provided a very pri- 
vate place for us; where my secofid son Thom- 
as, was borne, and none but our freends did 
know of it, and so by this meanes my son was 
not baptized until we came to New England 
the winter following, being borne in London, 
Aprill 5, 1635. When we had bin also at 
London for a time and began to be known in 
the place my wife was sick, the Lord put it into 
our harts to remoove to another place in Mr. 
Eldred^s house in London, which stood empty 
and the very night we were all come away, 
there came the Pursevants and others to search 
ader us, but the Lord delivered us out of their 
hands, and so when the Lord had recovered 
my wife, we began to prepare for a removal over 
agayne to New England. And the Lord 
seemed to make our way playne. 

1. Because I had no other call to any place 
in England. 


2. Many more of Giod's people resolved to 
goe with me, as Mr. Roger Harlakenden aad 
Mr. Champney, &c. ■ 

3. The Lord saw our unfitness and the unfit- 
ness of our going the yeare before, and there- 
fore giving us good freeness to accompany jj% 
and good company in the ship we set forvrara 
about the 10 of August 1635, with myselfe, 
wife and my little son Thomas and other pre- 
cious freends, having tasted much of God's 
mercy in England and lamenting the losse oC 
our native country when we tooke our last view 
of it. In our voyage upon the sea the Lord was 
very tender of me and kept me from violence of 
the sea sickness. In our comming we were re- 
freshed with the society of Mr. Wilson, Mr. 
Jones by their fayth and prayers and preaching. 
The ship we came in was very rotten and unfit 
for such a voy«ge, and therefore the first storme 
we had, we had a very great leake, which did 
much apall and aflTect us; yet the Lord discov- 
ered it unto us when we were thinking of re- 
turning back agayne; and much comforted our 
harts. We had many storms, in one of which 
my deare wife tooke such a cold and got such 
weakness as that shee fell into a consumption , 
of which shee aflerward dyed; and also the 
Lord preserved her with the child in her armes 
from eminent and apparent death, for by the 



ishaking of tho ship in a violent storme her head 
waa pitcht agaynst an iron bolt and the Lord 
miraculously preserved the child and recovered 
iny wife: This was a great affliction to me, and 
was a cause of many sad thoughts in the ship 
how to behave myselfe when I came to New 
England. My resolutions I have written down 
in my little booke; and so the I^rd after many 
sad storms and wearisome days and many 
longings to see the shore, the Lord brought us 
to the sight of it upon Oct. 2, Anno 1635 and 
upon Oct. the 3d. we arrived with my wife^ 
child, brother Samuel, Mr. Harlakenden, Mr. 
Cooke, &c., at Boston with rejoicing in our 
God after a longsome voyage, my deare wive^s 
great desire being now fulfilled, which was to 
leave me in safety from the hand of my enemies 
and among God's people, and also the child 
under God's precious ordinances. 

Now when we came upon shore we were 
kindly saluted and entertained by many freends 
and were the first 3 dayes in the house of Mr. 
Coddington being treasurer at that time, and 
that with much love. 

When we had been here two dayes, upon Mun- 
day Oct. 5, we came (being sect for by freends 
at Newtown) to them to my brother Mr. Ston's 
house; and that congregation being upon their 
remoeval to Hartford at Connecticut^ myselfe 


and those that came with me found many houses 
empty and many persons willing to sell^ and here 
our company bought off their houses to dwell 
in until we should see another place fit to re- 
move unto, but having bin here some time di- 
verse of our brethren did desire to sit still and 
not to remoove farther, partly because of the 
fellowship of the churches, partly because they 
thought their lives were short and remoovals to 
near plantations full of troubles, partly because 
they found sufficient for themselves and their 
company. Hereupon there was a purpose to 
enter into church fellowship, which we did the 
yeare after about the end of the winter; a fort* 
night after which my deare wife Margaret 
dyed, being first received into church fellowship, 
which as she much longed for so the Lord did 
so sweeten it unto her, that she was hereby 
exceedingly cheered and comforted with the 
6ense«of God's love, which continued until her 
last gaspe. 

No sooner were we thus set down and en- 
tered into church fellowship; but the Lord ex- 
ercised us and the whole country with the 
opinions of Familists; begun by Mrs. Hutchin- 
son, raised up to a great height by Mr. Vane, 
too suddenly chosen governour and maintained 
too obscurely by Mr. Cotton, and propagated 
*-^o boldly by the members of Boston, and some 




in other churches by meftnes of which divisions 
by those opinions, the ancient received truth 
came to be darkened, God's name to be bias* 
phemed, the churche's glory diminished, many 
godly greeved, many wretches hardened, de- 
ceiving and being deceived, growing woorse 
and woorse; the principall opinion and seed of 
all the rest was this, viz., that a Xtian should 
not take any evidence of God's special grace 
and love towards him by the sight of any graces 
or cooditionall evangelicall promises to fayth 
or sanctification in way of ratiocination ; for 
this was evidence and so a way of woorks, but 
it must be without the sight of afcy grace, faith, 
holiness or special change in himselfe by imme- 
diate revelation and because that the whole 
scripture do give such cleare, plaine and nota* 
ble evidences of favour to persons called and 
sanctified; hence they said that a second evi- 
dence might be taken from hence but no first 
evidence; but from hence it arose that as all 
error is fruitfull, so this opinion did gender 
above a hundred monstrous opinions in the 
country ; which the elders perceiving having 
used all private brotherly meanes with Mr. Cot* 
ton first, and yet no healing, hereupon they 
publikely preached both against opinions pub- 
likely and privately maintayned; and I account 
it no small mercy to myselfe that the Lord kept 

60 MSMoms or 

>.me from that contagios «nd gave me any hart 
or light to see thorow those devises of men's 
he^ds; altho I found it a most uncomfortahle 
time to live in contention^ and the Lord was 
graciously pleased by giving witnesse agaynsi 
them to keepe his poore. church spotless and 
cleare from them. This division in the church 
began to trouble the commonwealth. Mr. 
Wheelwright, a man of ahold and stiff conceipt 
of his own w^orth and light preached (as the 
Court judged) a seditious sermon, stirring up 
all sorts agaynat those that preached a cove- 
nant of woorks!. meaning all the Elders in the 
country, that {peached justification by fayth and 
assurance of it^by sight of fayth, and sanctifica'<- 
tion, being enabled thereto by the spirit: The 
troubles thus increasing and all meanes used 
for crushing .and curing these sorts a synod was 
thought of and called, from the example. Acts 
15, wherein by the helpe of all the Elders 
joyned together, those errours thorowjthe grace 
and power of xt. were discovered, the defenders 
of them convinced and ashamed, the truth stab- 
lished^ and the consciences of the saynts set- 
tled; there being a most wonderful presence of 
Xt's spirit in that assembly held at Cambridge 
An. 1637, about August and ^ntinued a month 
together in publike agitations; for the issue of 
this synod was this. 


1. The Pekoat Indiati* were fully discomfited, 
for as the opinions arose, wars did arise, and 
when these began to be crusbt by the ministry 
of the Elders and by opposing Mr. Vane and 
casting him and others from being magistrates 
y« enemies began to be crusht and were per- 
fectly subdued by the end of the synod. 

2. The magistrates tooke counsel and ex- 
iled Mr. Wheelright, Mrs. Hutchinson and 
diverse Ilanders, whom the Lord did strangely 
discover, giving most of them over to all man- 
ner of filthy opinions, until many that held with 
them before were ashamed of them; and so the 
Lord within one yeare wrought a great change 
among us. 

At this time I cannot omit the goodness of 
God as to myselfe, so to all the country in de- 
livering us from the Pekoat furies. These In- 
dians were the stoutest, proudest and most suc- 
cessful! in their wars of all the Indians. Their 
cheef Sachem wasSassakus, a proud, cruel and 
unhappy and headstrong prince, who not wil- 
ling to be guided by the persuasions of his fel- 
low, an aged Sachem Monianattuck, nor fear- 
ing the revenge of the English, having first 
suckt the blood of Captain Ston and Mr. Oldam 
and found it so sweet, and his proceedings for 
one whole winter so successfull, that having be- 
.^ sieged and killed about four men that kept 



Seabrook fort, he adventured to fall upon the 
English in the river at Wethersfield where he 
slew 9 or ten men, women and children at un- 
awares and tooke two maids prisoners, carrying 
them away captive to the Pekoat country. 
Hereupon those upon the river first gathered 
about seventy men and sent them into the Pe- 
koat country, to make that the seat of war, and 
to revenge the death of those innocents, whom 
they barbarously and most unnaturally slew; 
these men marched two days and nights from 
the w«iy of the Naraganset unto Pekoat. Be- 
ing guided by those Indians, then the ancient 
enemies of the Pekoats, they intended to as- 
sault Sasukus fort, but falling short of it the 
second night the Providence "of God guided 
them to another nearer, full of stout men and 
there brot soldiers, being as it were coopt up 
there, to the number of three or four hundred 
in all for the divine slaughter by the hand of the 
English. These therefore being all night mak- 
ing merry and singing the death of the English 
the next day. Toward breake of the day being 
very heavy with sleep the English drew neare 
within the sight of the fort, very weary with 
travayle and want of sleepe, at which time five 
hundred Naragansets fled for feare and only 
two of the company stood to it to conduct them 
to the fort and ihe doors and entrances thereof. i. 


The English being come to it awakened the 
fort with a peale of muskets, directed into the 
midst of their wigwams, and afler this, some un- 
dertaking to compasse the fort without, some* 
adventured into the fort upon the very faces of 
the enemy standing ready with their arrows 
ready bent to shoot whoever should adventure, 
but the English casting by their peeces, took 
their swords in their hands (the Lord doubling 
their strength and courage) and fell upon the 
Indians, where a hot fight continued about the 
space of an houre, at last by the dire ctioMpf one 
Captayne Mason their wigwams were set on 
fire as being dry and contiguous one to another 
was right dreadfull to the Indians, some burning, 
some bleeding to death by the sword, some re- 
sisting till they were cut off, some flying were 
beat down by the men without, until the Lord 
had utterly consumed the whole company ex- 
cept four or five girles they tooke prisoners, and 
dealt with them at Seabrooke as they dealt with 
ours at Wethersfield, and tis verily thought 
scarce one man escaped unless one or two to 
carry foorth ty^dings of the lamentable end of 
their fellowes; and of the English not one man 
was killed, but one by the musket of an Eng- 
lishman (as was conceived), some were wounded 
much, but all recovered and restored agayne. 
Thus the Lord having delivered the country 


from war with Indiana and Familists (who arose 
and fell together) he was pleased to direct the 
Jiartsof.the magistrates (then keeping Court 
Ordinarily in our town because of their stirs at 
Boston) to thinke of erecting a Schoole or Colt- 
ledge and that speedily to be a nursery of knowl- 
edge in these deserts and supply for posterity^ 
and because this towne (then called Newtowne) 
was hereto [by] God's great care and good- 
ness kept spotless from the contagion of the 
opinions^ therefore at the desire of some of our 
townH^ Deputies of the Court having got Mr. 
Eaton to attend the Schoole, the Court for that 
and sundry other reasons determined to erect the 
Colledge here, which was no sooner done but 
the cheefe of the magistrates and Elders sent to 
England to desire helpe to forward this woorke, 
but they all neglecting us (in a manner) the Lord 
put it into the hart of one Mr. Harvard, who dyed 
woorth £1600 to give haife his estate to the 
erecting of the schoole. This man was a schol- 
lar and pious in his life and enlarged toward the 
country and the good of it in life and death, but 
no sooner was this given but Mr. Eaton (pro- 
fessing valiantly yet falsely and most deceitful- 
ly the feare of God) did lavish out a great part 
of it, and being for his cruelty to his schoUers, 
especially to one Biscoe and as also for some 
other wantonness in life not so notoriously known 


I driven the country; the Lord about a yeare 
I after, graciously made up the breach by one 
I Mr. Dunstar, a man pious, painfull and fit to 
teach and very fit to lay the foundations of the 
[^ domesticall affairs of the Colledge; whom God 
t hath much honoured and blessed. 

The sin of Mr. Eaton was at first not so 
clearly discerned by me, yet afler more full 
information I saw his sin great and my igno- 
rance and want of wisdom and watchfulness over 
[ him very great, for which I desire to mourn all 
I my life and for the breach of his family .^^ 

But thus the Lord hath bin very good unto 
me, in planting the place I lived in with such a 
mercy to myselfe, such a blessing to my chil- 
dren and the country, such an opportunity of 
i doing good to many by doing good to students, 
as the schoole is. 

Afler this I fell sick afler Mr. Harlakenden's 
death, my most deare freend, and most precious 
servant of Jesus xt.: and when I wts very 
low and my blood much corrupted, the Lord re- 
' vived me and afler that tooke pleasure in me to 
bless my labours that I was not altogether use- 
less nor fruitless. 

And not only to speake by me to his people 
but likewise to print my notes upon the nine 
principles I intended to proceed on with in York- 
shire, but never intended them or imagined 



they should be for the presse; yet six of them 
being finished in Old England and printed and 
the other 3 desired, I finished (the Lord help- 
ing) those at Cambridge and so sent them to 
£ng1and, where they also are printed, which I 
do not glory in (for I know my weakness) that 
my name is up by this meanes but that the Lord 
may be pleased to do some good by them there 
in my absence, for I. have seene the Lord 
making improvement of my weak abilities as 
far as they could reach, and of myselfe to the 
utmol^ which I desire to blesse his name for- 
ever for. 

Oct. 1637. The year« after those wars in the 
country God having taken away my first wife, 
the Lord gave me a second, the eldest daugh- 
ter of Mr. Hooker, a blessed store; and the 
Lord hath made her a great blessing to me to 
carry on matters in the family with much care 
and wisdom and to seeke the Lord God of her 
father. ' 

The first child I had by her (being a son) 
dyed. The second (whom the Lord, I blesse, 
hath hitherto spared) viz. my little Samuel, ia 
yet living. The third son viz. my son John, 
afler 16 weeks, departed on the Sabbath day 
morning, a day of rest to the bosom of rest to 
him who gave it, which was no small afHiction 
and heart-breaking to me that I should provoke 



the Lord to strike at mjr innocent children for 
my sake. 

The Lord thus afflicting jet continued peace 
to the country, that amazing mercy when all 
[England and Europe are in a flame the Lord 
hath set me and my children aside from the 
flames of the fires in Yorkshire and Northum- 
berland, whence if we had not bin delivered, I 
had bin in great afflictions and temptations, very 
weake and unfit to be tossed up and downe and 
to brave violent persecution; the Lord there- 
fore hath shewed his tenderness to me a«d mine 
in carrying me to a land of peace, tho' a place 
of tryali; where the Lord hath made the savage 
Indians, who conspired the death of all the 
[English by Miantinomo upon a sudden if Uncas 
could have bin cut off first, who stood in their 
Way and determined an open war upon us by 
the privy suggestions of Neutrall English from 
the Hand; to seeke for peace from us upon our 
own termes without blood shed, Aug. 26, 1645. 

But the Lord hath not bin woont to let me 
live long without some affliction or other, yet 
ever mixt with some mercy, and therefore April 
the 2d 1 G46, as he gave me another son, John, 
<-80 he tooke • away my most deare, precious, 
meeke and loving wife, having left behind her 
two hopefull branches very dear children, Sam- 
uel and John. This affliction was very heavy 


to me, for in it the Lofd seemed to withdraw 
his tender care for me and mine, which he gra^ 
ciously manifested by my deare wife, also re- 
fused to hear prayer when I did thinke he would 
have hearkened and let me see his bewty in the 
land of the living in restoring of her to health 
agayne; also taking her away in the prime time 
of her life, when shee might have lived to have 
glorified the Lord long, also in threatening me 
to proceed in rooting out my family, and that 
he would not stop having begun here as in Ely 
for not being zealous enough agaynst the sins 
of his son, and I saw that if I had profited by 
former afflictions of this nature, I should not 
have had this scourge; but I am the Lord's^ 
and he may doe with me what he will; he did 
teach me to prize a little grace gained by a 
crosse as a sufficient recompence for all out- 
ward losses, but this losse was very great; shee 
was a woman of incomparable meekness of spir- 
it towafds myselfe especially, and very loving; 
of great prudence to take care for and order my 
family affayres being neither too lavish nor sor- 
did in any thing so that I knew not what was 
under her hands: She had an excellency to 
reproove for sin and discerne the evills of men. 
She loved God's people dearly and studious to 
profit by their fellowship and therefore loved 
their company. She loved God's word exceed- 


ingly, and hence was gM shee could read my 
notes, which she had to muse on every weeke. 
She had a spirit of prayer beyond ordinary of 
her time and experience. She was fit to dy 
long before she did dy, even after the death of 
her first born, which was a great affliction to 
her, but her woorke not being* done then, she 
lived almost 9 yeares with me and was the com- 
fort of my life to me and the last sacrament be- 
fore her lying in, seemed to be full of Christ and 
thereby fitted for heaven. Shee did oil say 
shee should not outlive this child; and when 
her fever first began (by taking some cold) shee 
told me soe that we should love exceedingly 
together because we should not live long to- 
gether. Her paine tooke away her sleepe, 
want of sleepe wrought much distemper in her 
head and filled it with fantasies and distractions, 
but without raging. The night before shee 
dyed, shee had about 6 hours unquiet sleepe, 
but that so cooled and settled her head, that 
when she knew none else so as to speake to 
them, yet she knew Jesus Xt. and could speake 
to him and therefore as soone as she awakened 
out of sleepe shee brake out into a most heav- 
enly hart-breaking prayer after Xt. her deare 
Redeemer for the spirit of life; and so continued 
praying until the last hour of her death, " Lord 
tho' I [am] unworthy. Lord, one woord, one 


woord, &c." and so .gave up the ghost: thus 
God hath visited and scourged me for my sins 
and sought to weane we from this woorld, but 
I have ever found it a difficult thing to profit 
even but a little by the sorest and sharpest 

The writer pauses in his account of himself 
within a very few years of his death. The last 
date in the foregoing pages is that of the birth 
of his son, April 2d, 1646, and he died Aug. 25, 
1 649 : So that only three years at most inter- 
vened between the finishing of his biography, 
and his death. He was however married the 
third time, 1647, to Margaret Boradill. Their 
son Jeremiah was aflerward minister of Lynn.^ 

It will be proper to give in this connexion the 
remaining contents of the little Book. 

ANNO 1639, 

1 . He is the God of my being, who might 
have made me a woorme, 

2. He is the God of my life and length of 
dayes, with health, which I have enjoyed long. 

3. He is the God who tooke me up, when my 

1 Farmer. 


own mother dyed, who lnved me, and when my 
stepmother cared not for me, and when my father 
also dyed, and forsooke me when I was young 
and little, and could not take care for myselfe. 

4. He is the God, that brought me out of 
Egypt, that prophane and wicked town where 
I was borne and bred under the care of one of 
my own brethren and that gave me time and 
will to desire learning, where if I had lived, I 
had sinned and bin forever damned. 

5. He is the God that brought me, the last and 
most despised of my father's house to the Univer- 
sity of Cambridge and strangely made way for 
me there, after many prayers for it and promises 
(when I was young) to be the Lord's, if he 
should do that forme; tho' it were by spending 
all the portion my father lefl me, which accord- 
ingly was done. 

6. He is the God that began to strive with 
me there as soone almost as I came thither, by 
Mr. Dickinson and Dr. Chadderton's sarmons, 
and although I oft resisted the Lord and neg- 
lected secret prayer, and care of his ways a 
long time and followed my bowling loose com- 
pany until I came to that height of pride that 
for their sakes I was once or twice dead drunke 
and lived in speculative wantonness (yet still 
refrayned from grosse acts of sin which some 
of my own familiars were to their horrour and 


shame overtaken with) yet at this very time of 
being woorst and under wrath the Lord dealt 
most graciously with me, and made my last act 
of drunkenness the beginning of more serious 
thoughts of making my peace with God. 

7. He is the God that when I was thus in this 
place made me acquainted with many godly 
freends, whose lives and examples were or 
might have bin, patterns to me. Mr. Ston, Mr. 
Simonds, whose speeches God alway blest to 
me especially when they described God's wrath 
by the 6re side, and the intollerable torment of 
the fire, and when in walking with one I heard 
him set out men's misery that all they did was 
sin without Xt., and he blessed also their coun- 
sel to me to read the practise of xtianity, which 
did much affect me, and to heare Dr. Preston. 

8. It is the God that sent I thinke the best 
ministers in the woorld to call me. Dr. Preston, 
and Mr. Goodwin. The words of the first at 
the firat sermon he made when he came into the 
College as Master of it, and diverse that he 
preached at that time, did open my hart and 
convince me of my unbeleefe, and of a total 
emptiness, of all enmity agaynst all good; and 
the Lord made me honour him highly and love 
him dearly although many godly men spake 
agaynst him. 

9. He is the €rod that set me not only to at- 


tend upon the woord publikely, but to privat0 
meditations and prayer, in which I seldom 
sought but found the Lord taking me out of the 
woorld when .I was scoffed at for what I did, 
and I so found him in meditation that I was 
constrained to carry my booke into the feelds to 

Wright down what God 

10. In these ordinances he is the God that 
convinced me of my guilt, filth of sin, self seek- 
ing and love of honour of men in all I did, and 
humbled me under both so as to set a high- 
er price on Xt. and grace, and to loath myselfe 
the more, and so I was eased of a woorld of dis- 
couragement. He also shewed me the worth 
of xt. and made my soul satisfied with him and 
cleave to him, because God had made him 
righteousness, 1 Cor. 1:3. and here also re- 
vealed his free justification and gave me sup- 
port and rest upon and in his promises made to 
them that receive him as Lord and king, which 
I found my hart unwilling to love; which was 
the ground or rather occasion of many tempta- 
tions of Atheisme, Judaisme, Familisme, Pope- 
ry, despaire as having sinned the unpardonable 
sin; but yet the Lord at last made me yield up 
myselfe to his condemniiig will as good, which 
gave me great peace, quietness, thorow the 
blood and pitty of Xt. I have met with all 
kinds of temptations, but afiter my conversion 



was never tempted to Arminianisme, my own ex- 
perience so sensibly confuting the freedom of 

11. He is the God which melted my hart after 
a relapse from the glorious condition I had in 
Cambridge, by taking a journey into the coun- 
try with a carnal professor, and this the Lord 
did when I never sought nor regarded him. 

12. He is the God that made me a poore 
meanes of scattering the knowledge of xt. and 
setting up days of fasting and holy conference 
and conscientious Sabbath keeping. I was 
weake every way and young among the schol- 
lars, where I lived and to study what to do for 
the Lord. 

13. He is the God that carry ed me into Es- 
sex from Cambridge and gave me the most 
sweet society of so many godly ministers, as Mr. 
Hooker, and Mr. Wells, and Mr. Wharton, 
Mr. Bedell, and Mr. Barrowes, &c., although 
I could do no good among them. 

14. He is the God that sent me by all these 
ministers to obey the voice of God and the call 
of the people of Earles-Colne, a most prophane 
place, where the Lord blessed my poore labours 
to Mr. Harlakenden and his family, and to many 
others in the town and country and how the 
Lord- kept me from troubles 3 yeares and a 
halfe until the Bishop Laud put me to silence 



and would not let me live in the town, and this 
he did, when I looked to be made a shame and 
confusion to all. 

Tht following is a Specimen of the Author's Book-keeping, 

John Bridge hath £8 of what I am to receive from my 

Received of Giles Archer £54 the other shilling was not 

in his booke 
Received of him of Towcester 50^. at one time and dOs, 

at another time, in all £4, 
My brother Samuel owes me for the house £83 

and I lent him - • -* - - 10 

So that in all tis £93 

I received from my brother Samuel 

1 . from himselfe from the ship . . - £5 

2. By Mr. Winthrop ... - 20 

3. He paid to' Mr. Hooker for me in lieu of 

the house -.----.- 65 
£10 of which £65 was borrowed of me so that 
partly to myselfe and partly to Mr. Hooker, 
my brother hath payd — to Mr. Hooker 55 

to myselfe --_-.- 25 

So that I have received in all for him for the 

payment of his house .... 80 

So that he now owes me - - -13 

To my brother Davenport for taking in the 

meadow in long march - - - - 117 
To Mr. Andrews for rale - - - - 2 

To John Bridge - - - - 2 

To Mr. Andrews - - £19 or 20 



Delivered to Mt, Bnckly 

To mj brother Samuel - . - 

out of it - - - - - 
To Mr. Buekly again - - - 

In all 

My brother Sam paid to Mr. Hooker 
I have paid to Mr. Buckly for him - 
So that there is not paid 


To reed 


1 rec'd 


2 rec'd 


3 rec'd 


Do. £3 
Per. meadow 117 

For rates to Andover 2 

To John Bridge 2 



£6 3 7 

Paid also to Mr. Andrews 
for his house 


£25 3 7 

Lent to my brother Town £2 

Lent to Ministers for 
Farneside 3 

Brother Champney hath 
of John Birchenson 
his money 2 

To John Trumble for carriage 

due in Mr. Goodwin's books 61^. 

to him for fetching Mr. Harryer 4 

to him for goodman Orts I 4 

«.ll 4 




Reckonings between Robert and I 

£ 1. d« 

All reckonings being made even I paid him 5 17 7 

Of his year's wages, which came to £7 
so that there remains to be paid - - 12 5 

M ay\, 164«. 

1 paid to Robert Latham for his second yearns service 
upon Nov. 12, 1646, eight pound, of which he received 
JS3 in money and iC5 of Mr. Glover of Dorchester. 

There remayns due to Robert £15 5 because he paid 
«3 to one for me. 

Also I am to remembef him for his time from Michel- 
mas to Nov. 9, which he left to me to give him any thing 
or nothing, for he was one week with me and had his 
boArd freely. 

1 left to pay for nay leg a lid having given, him «2 3 
for part of them. 

The MS. also contains the following para- 
graph^ by a modern hand. 

^ In another Manuscript of Mr. Shepards, 
there is this passage — " Dec. 16, 1630, I was 
inhibited from preaching in the Diocess of 
London by Dr. Laud, Bishop of that Diocess. 
As soon as I came in the morning about 8 of 
the clock, falling into a fit of rage he asked me 
what degree I had taken in the University. I 
answered, I was Master of Arts. He asked 
me of what CoUedge ? I answered of Emanuel. 

He asked me how long I had lived in his Dio- 



cess ? I answered 3 years and upwards. He 
asked who maintained me all this while, charg- 
ing me to deal plainly with him, adding withal 
that he had been more cheated and equivocated 
with by some of my malignant faction than ever 
man was by Jesuit. At the speaking of which 
words he looked as thoogh blood would have 
gushed out of his face, and did shake as if he 
bad been haunted with an ague fit, — ^to my ap- 
prehension^ by reason of his extreme malice 
and secret venome. I desired him to excuse 
me. He fell then to threaten me and withal to 
bitter railing, calling me all to nought, saying 
— " You prating coxcomb, do you think all the 
learning is in your brain?" He pronounced 
his sentence thus. I charge you that you 
neither preach, read, marry, bury, or exercise 
any ministerial functions in any part of my 
Diocess; for if you do, and I hear of it, I'll be 
upon your back and follow you wherever you 
go, in any part of this kingdom, and so everlast- 
ingly disenable you. I besought him not to 
deal so in behalf of a pooretown, — here he stopt 
me in what I was going to say, — " a poor town! 
You fihye made a company of seditious factious 
bedlams. And what do you prate to me of a 
poor town? " I prayed him to suffer me to cate- 
chise on the Sabbath days, in the afternoom He 
replied, " spare your breath, I'll have no such 


fellows prate in my Diocegs. Get you gone! 
And make your complaints to whom you will! " 
So away I went — and blessed be God that I 
may go to him." 


I seeke not the Lord in prayer till I find him 
h. 1. I manifest contempt of xt., can live 
without him 

2. contempt of his 

3. Forsake Xt., who lores my company and 
is angry with me for not keeping it. 

2. Then I goe from prayer and follow my 
calling but not for the Lord, am not holy in all 
manner of conversation, and hence I loose what 
I got in prayer, nay forget what I gained and 
80 make no progresse in a xtian course, aud so 
either there is no life of Xt. which is most sad, 
or if there be any I crucify it and disfigure it 
and put it to open shame, which is most sad 

3. I maintayne me a will and firme resolu- 
tion, when I see to avoyd those practises. Re- 
member my soule to wait all the day long upon 
him to plant it in thee, for my soyle will not bear 
it nor bring it foorth. 

4. I would faine have notice of a worke of 
grace in my hart that so I might be comforted 
in the midirt of my sins, which I am not resolved 
to leave. 


APRIL 4, 1639. 

May not I be the cause of the churches' sor- 
rowes, which are renewed upon us, for what 
have the sheepe done? 

For 1 . My hart lying long out from the Lord 
1 . sent a terrible storme at sea to awaken me, 
and the deliverance from it was so sweet that I 
could not but thinke my life should afler that be 
only heavenly, as being called from an apparent 
death to live a new life. 

2. Immediately upon this my child was taken 
from me, my first borne, which made me re- 
member how bitter it was to crosse the Lord's 

3. Set my face towards New England; when 
considering the liberties of God's house I re- 
solved and thought it fit to be wholly for the 
Lord in all manner of holiness at bed and 

4. Then the Lord tooke my deare wife firom 
me, and this made me resolve to delyght no 
more in creatures, but in the Lord to seeke 

5. Then the Lord threatened blindness to my 
child, and this made God's will afilicting ^weet to 
me, but much more commanding and promising 
that I would do his will and leave those things 


to hikttself, but oh how is my gold become dim 
tixkd how little have f answered the Lord, con- 
sidering also my ship resolutions, which I have 
writ down. I have wanted both remembrance, 
hart, strength, or will to do any of these things, 
and therefore have not cause to blame the Lord, 
for he hath persuaded my hart to this^ but my 
own concupiscence and vile sins, which. Lord 
that I may moarn ibr, that thou mayst restore 
comforts to me. Apostacy from God is griev- 
ous, tbo' but in a little degree; to serve Satan 
without promise, to forsake the Lord's promise. 
What eviH have I fonnd in the Lord's? This 
brings more disgrace upon the Lord than if 
there never had bin any coming to him. This 
is a sin against more love Lord might never 
have drawn. 

% The people being committed to me 1. not 
pittyed some, S. nor prayed for, 3. nor visited, 
4. nor have I shewn much love unto. 

3. The family I have not edifyed, nor in- 
structed, nor taken all occasions of speech with 

4. The gospel I have preached 1. not scene 
in the glory, S. not beleeved, 3. not affected at, 
4. not seeking to xt. for supply, that all has bin 
dead woorke, and fruit of pride. 

5. Walking dayly without that approving my- 
selfe unto him and his, tho' I do his woorke yet 


I do not mind him in it, his command and his 
presence — ^nor yet any endeavour to grow some-* 
what every day. 

b. My not lamenting the falls of professors 
and condition of the country, who are not in- 
deed the glory of God in the woorld nor the holy 

Is it not hence 
1. That many pillars in this church have 
fallen, as if the Lord would not hetrust such 
precious vessels to my care, and hath not the 
sorrow lyen upon me. 

2. h. universal mortality, when Hezekiah's 
hart^as lifted up, then wrath cam^ not only on 
him hut on all the rest. 

3. h. I have had this long sickness as if the 
Lord would delight no more in me to use. me. 

O my God, who shall be like to thee in par- 
doning and subduing mine iniquities. 

This is all of Mr. Shepard^s writing which is 
legible in the MS. There are a few pages by 
another hand, but of these the following only is 

W° a soul may know he shall be able to hold 
out in time of try all: 

1 . W° his soul is in fear he shall be not able 
to hold out but shall fail the L^ in time of try all, 
and is brought tharby to hang on God's naked 
marcy to uphold him, andpris that marcy. 


2. He must then beleeve if the inioyment of 
that marcy be good for him, or the taking away 
of such a comfort from him or deliverance from 
an affliction be best for him the L'^ will undoubt- 
edly give it or withhold it, and this the soul is 
bound to beleeve and heareby to perswad his 
hart he shall be inabled to answer the L'^'s ex- 

2 Cor. 12: 10. 

It would seem that this was written by way 
of meditation upon certain passages in Mr. 
Shepard's life. 

The following are some of the particulars of 
Mr. Shepard's death. " Returning home from 
a council at Rowly, he fell into a quinsie with 
a symptomatica! fever, which suddenly stopped 
a silver trumpet^ from whence the people of God 
had often heard the joyful sound. Among other 
passages uttered by him when he lay a dying, 
he addressed those that were about him with 
these words: ' Oh love the Lord Jesv^ very much: 
that little part I have in him is no small comfort 
to me nmo.^^ " He said to the young ministers 
around him, * That their work was great, and 
called for great seriousness^^ and mentioned 
to them three things concerning himself: That 

1 Cotton Mather, Book lU. Chap V. Magnalia. 



the study ofevtry Sermon cost him tears: ' ^ Thai 
before he preached any Sermon he got good by it 
himself : '~ and ^ That he always went into the 
ptdpit as if he were to give up his account to his 
Master. ^^ 

He left three sons, viz. Thomas, Pastor of 
the first Church in Charlestown, Jeremiah, 
Minister of Lynn, and Samuel, who also entered 
the Ministry hut died at an early age.^ 

The following notices of Shepard are found 
in various cotemporary authors. 

One writer calls him, ^ That gratious, sweete 
Heavenly minded and soule-ravishing Minis- 
ter, Mr. Thomas Shepheardy in] whose soule 
the Lord shed ahroad his love so abundantly, 
that thousands of souls have cause to blesse 
God for him, even at this very day, who are 
the scale of his ministrey, and hee a man of a 
thousand, indued with abundance of true sa- 
ving knowledge for himselfe and others, yet 

his naturall parts were weake, but spent to the 
full.' 3 

1 Historical Colieclions, Vol. VII. First Series, p. 44. 

2 Historical Collections, Vol. VI. p. 604. Second Series. 
' Wonder Working Providence of Zion's Saviour, p. 77. 


TRODUCTION OF Mr. Shepard to the Pastoral 

^ Mr. Shepherd a godly minister came lately 
out of England, and diverse other good Chris- 
tians intending to raise a chh. Body came and 
acquainted y* magistrates herewith who gave 
their approbation. They also sent to all the 
neighbouring Chhs. for the Elders to give yr as- 
sistance att a certain day att Newtown, (Cam- 
bridge) when yy should constitute this Body; 
and accordingly att this day there met a great 
assembly when y® Proceeding was as followeth. 

^ Mr. Shepherd and two others (who hereafler 
to be chosen to office) Sat together in y® Elders 
seat: when y© Elder of them began with Prayer. 
After this, Mr. Shepherd prayed, with deep 
confession of Sin, and Exercised out of Eph. V. 
that he might make it to himself a holy, ^c. 
and also opened y» cause of y® Meeting, ^c. 
Then y® Elder desired to know of y« Chh. as- 
sembled, what number were needful to make a 
Chh., and how they ought to proceed in this 
action. Whereupon some of y^ Ancient Minis- 
ters conferring severally together made answer, 
That y® Scripture did not set down any certain 
Tule for y® number. Three they thought were 
too few, because by Matt. 18^ an appeal was 



allowed to be made from three; But that seven 
might be a fitt number. And for their proceed- 
ing they advised that such as were to join should 
make Confession of their faith, and declare 
what worke of grace the Lord had wrought in 
them. Which accordingly they did, Mr. Shep- 
herd first: then 4 others: then y® Elder, and one 
who was to be a Deacon (who had also prayed) 
and another member. Then y® Covenant was 
read, and they all gave a solemn assent to it. 
Then y« Elder desired of y^ Churches, that if 
they did approve them to be a Church, they 
would give them y® right hand of Fellowship. 
Whereupon Mr. Cotton (upon Short Speech 
with some others near him) in y^ name of the 
Churches gave his hand to the Elder, with a 
Short Speech of their assent, and desired y* 
peace of the Lord Jesus to be with them. — 
Then Mr. Shepherd made an Exhortation to y* 
rest of this Body about y® nature of their Cove- 
nant and to stand firm to it, and commended to 
y® Lord in a most heavenly Prayer. — Then y* 
Elder told the assembly that they were intended 
to choose Mr. Shepherd for their Pastor, (by 
y® name of y - Brother who Exercised) and de- 
sired the Churches that if they had any thing to 
Except against him they would impart it before 
y® day of Ordination. Then he gavey® churches 


hands, for their assistance, and so left them to 
y« Lord.' ' 

The following Letters are copied from the Original 
MSS. in the possession of the ^' Historical Society/' and 
are a great curiosity. Mr. Shepard was on the Council 
called to lay the foundation of Mr. Richard Mather's 
Church in Dorchester, but was not satisfied with the 
evidence given by three individuals of being suitable per- 
sons to found a Church. Upon his return to Cambridge 
he wrote the following letter to Mr. Mather, assigning 
his reasons for the bold and faithful stand whicli he took 
before the Council. It is well worthy of perusal by those 
who are in like manner called upon to lay the founda- 
tion of Churches. 


To his loving friend and brother^ Mr, Mad- 
der^s, at Dorchester be these dd, 

Deare brother, 

As it was a sad thing to us to defer the uniting 
of your people together, so it would add affliction 
to my sorrow, if that yourselfe, (whom the Lord 
hath abundantly qualified and fitted for himselfe,) 
and church and people should take to hart too 

1 This is copied frum the Records of the First Church in Cam- 
bridge, being a letter from Rev. Dr. Stiles, of Newport, 1772, to Rev. 
Dr. Appleton, then Pastor, in ori!er to aupp y the place of the ac- 
count of the formation of the Church, supposed to be contained in 
the first Vol. of Records unfortunately 1 st. Dr. Stiies copies from 
the " MS. of Gov. Winthrop's Journal." See Winthrop's Journal, 
1635, Mj. 13. 


much so solemn a demurre and stop to the pro-, 
ceedings of those that were to be united to you; 
for what would this be but a privy quarrelling at 
the wise providence of our God, that knows what 
physick is best to be given, and a grooving in- 
deed for that good hand of God, in which we 
ought abundantly to rejoice, for I am confident 
of it that there is nothing in his cup so bitter, 
but by waiting awhile yourselfe and people will 
find such sweetness in the bottom and conclu- 
sion of it as shall make you and them a double 
amends. David had a great desire to build the 
Lord a temple, and he was content with the sad 
message of the prophet, he must not do it, his 
son should. It was quite honour enough unto 
him to provide stuff for it. I persuade myselfe 
the Lord intends to do more for you, and by you, 
in the place where the Lord hath set you, and 
that he will honour you with a more glorious 
service than that of Solomon's, to build him a 
temple not of stones, but of saints elect and pre- 
cious, yet you know how many yeares Solomon 
waited before the temple came to be erected. 

AH the stones of it were hewn and hammered 
out in mount Lebanon, so that no axe nor ham- 
mer was heard knocking while the temple was 
a building. 1 Kings 6: 7. Oh, let not a little 
waiting be grievous or sad to you while your 
stones, your people, are preparing themselves, 


or the Lord rather is preparing of them, to he 
built on the foundation stone, that when you 
meet agayne together, there may not be any 
hammer heard, any doubt made, any pause oc- 
casioned, by any neglect of them in not seeking 
to gather their evidences better, both to quiet 
their owne soules before the Lord, and to sat- 
isfy the consciences of other men. As for my- 
selfe I was very loth to speake, but I thou^^ht 
(and I have found it since) that I should neither 
be accounted faithfull to the church that sent 
me, neither should I manifest the tenderness of 
the good of your people, if I had not spoken 
what I did. I did confesse, and do confesse 
still, that, although there were divers weak- 
nesses in most which I did, and do willingly with 
a spirit of love, cover and passe by, as knowing 
what I am myselfe, yet there were 3 of them 
cheefly, that I was not satisfyed scarce in any 
measure with, their profession of their faith; not 
but that I doe believe upon your own tryall oi 
them (which I persuade myselfe will not be 
slighty in laying a foundation) but that they 
might have grace, yet because we came not 
here to find gracious harts, but to see them too. 
'Tis not faith but visible faith, that must make 
a visible church, and be the foundation of visible 
communion, which faith I say, because my 
weaknes could not then see in some of them 



by their professions, I therefore spake what I 
did with respect to yourselfe and tendernes also 
to them that so they might either expresse them- 
selves more fully for satisfaction of the churches 
(which I did chiefly desire) or if there were not 
time for this, that they might defer till another 
time, which you see was the generall vote of all 
the churches which course I have and do tbinke 
hath this 3 fold good wrapt up in it. 1 . Thai 
if your people then doubtfull to us, be indeed 
sincere, this might make them more humble and 
make them search themselves more narrowly, 
and make them cast away all their blurred ev- 
idences, and get fairer and shew better, and so 
find more peace and keep more close to God 
than ever before; and on the contrary, if they 
be unsound that this might be a meanes to dis- 
cover them, for either you will find them proud, 
passionate and discontented at this (which I be- 
lieve is far from all of them) or else you will 
see that this doth little good, and woorkes little 
upon them ; which unto my own selfe would be 
a shrewd evidence of little or no grace, if the 
majesty and presence of God in so many churches 
so ready to receive you, should woorke no more 
awe nor sad laying to hart such a sentence as 
this hath bin; for believe it, brother, we have 
bin generally mistaken in most men, and in great 
professors these times have lately shewn, and 


this place hath discovered more false harts than 
ever we saw before ; and it will be your com- 
fort to be very wary and very sharpe in looking 
to the harts and spirits of those you signe your- 
'selfe unto especially at first ; least you meet 
with those sad breaches, which other churches 
have had, and all by want of care or skill to pick 
foorth fit stones for so glorious a foundation as 
posterity to come may build upon and blesse 
the Lord. 

2. By this meanes others will not be too for- 
ward to set upon this woorke, which afler sad 
tryall will be found utterly unfit for it ; for 'tis 
not a woorke for all professors,. nor for all godly 
men to lay a foundation of a church, for many 
godly men may have some od distemps that may 
make for the mine of the building, therefore not 
fit for a foundation ; many godly men are weake 
and simple and unable to discerne, and so may 
easily receive in such as may afterward ruine 
them, hence unfit to lay a foundation, not that I 
judge thus of your people. I dare not thinke 
8oe, but if those that be fit have bin stopt thus 
in their way, how will this make others to 
tremble and feare, in attempting this woorke 
lesse able them yourselves. 

3. By this meanes I beleeve and hope that 
the communion of saints will be set al a higher 
price, when 'tis scene that 'tis not an honour 
that the Lord will alway put on nor bestow and 


give away unto his own people. I doe therefore 
intreat you in the Lord that you would not hang 
down your head, but rejoyce at this good provi- 
dence of the Lord, which will abound so much 
to his prayse and your future peace ; neither 
let it discourage you nor any of your brethren 
to goe on in the woorke for after times ; but 
having looked over their own evidences a little 
better, and humbled their soules for this, and 
thirsting the more after the Lord in his temple 
and ordinances, while with David they are de- 
prived for a season of them ; that hereafter you 
would come foorth agayne (it may be some of 
your virgins have bin sleeping and this may 
awaken them) with your lamps trimmed, your 
lamps burning, your wedding garments on to 
meet the bridegroome ; and if others will fall 
and sleep agayne, and not get their oyle when 
they have had this warning, what do they do 
but discover themselves to be but foolish ones ; 
who though they knock hereafter and cry Lord, 
Lord, it may be xt nor his spouse will ever let 
them in. Thus with my unfaigned love to all 
your brethren, whom I honour and tender in the 
Lord, with my poor prayers for you and them 
that in his time he would unite and bring you 
together, I rest in great hast. 

Your brother in Christ, 

From J^ewtown (Cambridge) 

April 2, 1636. 


The following is Mr. Mather'& answer. 

Deare brother, 

Your letter hath been very welcome to me 
and so hath also your counsell therein, not to 
be too much troubled at the stay and stop, which 
the good hand of the Lord hath put to our in- 
tended proceedings. And as for what you spake 
tbat day I blesse the Lord for it, I am so farre 
from any hard thoughts towards you for y® same, 
y* you have by your free and faithfull dealing 
tiiat day endeared yourselfe in my esteeme more 
than ever ; though you were alwaies much 
honored & very dear unto mee. And blessed 
be the name of our good God forever y* put it 
into your hearts and mouths, all of you to ex- 
presse yourselves as you did, for we now see 
(though farre from what we might see, but 
y® Lord now hath given us some poore measure 
to see) our unworthinesse of such a privilege as 
church communion is, and our unfitnesse for 
such a worke as to enter into covenant with 
himself and to bee accepted of his people ; 
neither is it any discouragement to me at all yt 
such a barre and stopp was put in our way, we 
being so unworthy ; but here, brother, is the 
thing which my soul hath most need of, even to 
be humbled for our presuming to attempt so 
farre, & for our abusidg the Lord's name & or« 


dinances, & the presence of his saints ; not 
bringing us y^ wedding garment fairly putt upon 
us, which only might have made us accepted in 
y^ eyes of y^ King, & of all his servaunts there 
present y* day : Alas for it, y* we had not hearts 
to addresse our selves in better manner to such 
a weighty service ; & y* pride should prick us 
on without due consideration of what we took in 
hand ; but y° Lord saw our disease, & hath 
given us physicke suteable ; Oh pray for us 
y' it may have a kindly working on us for our 
healing. Indeed he hath let us blood in y° right 
veyne, for arrogancy was our distemper, and 
hee hath given us a medicine for it accordingly, 
& fit it was that our high mynd should be fol- 
lowed by a fall & with contempt. The Lord is 
just 6l holy, & we are worthy only of ever- 
lasting shame & contempt. I have great reason 
here to take shame unto myself & to receive the 
portion which the Lord tenders mee to drink for 
the healing the pride and vain-glory of my heart. 
Deare Sir, helpe a poore creature, I beseech 
you by your prayers for an humble spirit ; who 
see the Lord calling on mee for it by his woord 
& by this good providence of his, & yet cannot 
bee humbled for all this. If you knew or could 
beleeve that it were with mee this way as in- 
deed it is, you would pray for mee ; & pray 
earnestly too, as in a matter of great need; in- 


deed so great y^ I cannot tell you of my pride, 
but my proud heart is tickled with pride even 
at y» very telling of it. Oh that I were sensible 
of it, &. could bewaile it, and crave helpc against 
it without fayning & without counterfetting or 

Good Sir, pray formee. Ify® Lord heale the 
distemps of my spirit at your request in the name 
of y* Lord Jesus, your reward shall be great ; 
& if he meanes to do my soul good, it may be he 
will moove you to pray for mee therein ; and 
if he so do, no doubt (however it may go with 
mee) your labour shall not be lost, but your 
prayers will turn into your own bosome. Now 
as concerning our attempting y^ worke agayne, 
I know not what to say, but this I may say 
truely ; If y® counterfetting Gibeonites were 
made hewers of wood & drawers of water, be- 
cause they beguiled Israel to enter into league 
6l covenant with them, when they were not ye 
men yt they seemed to be ; it is as much as we 
are worthy of (oh y* I could say this word feel- 
ingly & without fayning) that we may be 
hewers of wood &»c. for y® churches here be- 
cause we attempted a league &. covenant with 
the churches, & were not worthy of such a mat- 
ter nor meet to be covenanted with, though 
(blessed be y® Lord for it) y® heads of y® con- 
gregation of the Lord's Israel here were not soe 

96 MBM0IR8 OF 

hasty & rash k credulous, as they were in the 
days of Joshua. And for my own particular 
thus : If y^ Lord say hee hath no delight in mee, 
nor will accept any such service as this at my 
hand, I desire to say what David in the like 
case could say it without fayuing & with a feel- 
ing heart, hehold here am I, let him do as 
seemeth good in his eyes. 2 Sam. 15: 26. for 
indeed if this work had gone forward I perceive 
it was in the heart of them that attempted ***** 
& have * * a tyme upon some further worke & 
office among themselves, now I am too * * of my 
own insuffitiency for such worke by them in- 
tended, yet I have no reason to be sorry for 
aught the Lord hath done, for such things I 
know to be needfull in the Pastors & Teachers 
of churches, &> myselfe so insufficient for them, 
y^ I have looked at the attempted joyning in 
.Church-fellowship with some feare &. trembling; 
in regard of the heavy burden, which might have 
been laid on my shoulders, if his worke had 
gone forward. Now it may be bee. y® Lord 
sees mee, as indeed I am, not able nor fit for such 
worke as was by men intended espetially to 
bring myselfe along, they therefore [have] done 
as we see, & therefore I am lesse grieved at the 
stopp, which he hath made. But you will ^ay 
why then did you present yourselfe with the 
people before the Lord & the churches. I will 


tell you the truth therein. They pressed me 
unto it with much importunity, & so did others 
also ; till I was ashamed to deny any longer, & 
laid it on mee as a thing to which I was hound 
in conscience to assent, hec. if I yielded not to 
joyne there would be (said they) no church at 
all in this place, & so a tribe, as it were, should 
perish out of Israel, & all through my default. 
This kind of arguing meeting that inward vain- 
glory, which I spake of before was it y* drew 
mee forward, & prevailed against that con- 
sciousnesse of my owne insufficiency, & against 
that timorousnesse that sometymes I have found 
in myselfe. But why then did we bring stones 
so unhammered & unhewn, evidences of faith 
no fairer &c. In this. Sir, you lay your finger 
upon our sore directly, neither can we here put 
in any other plea but guilty. The good Lord 
pardon, saith Hezekiah, every one that pre- 
pareth his heart to seeke God, though he be not 
cleansed according to the purification of the 
sanctuary. Let us beg the help of your prayers 
for pardon herein as Hezekiah did, pardon for 
y* people, & for more grace & care y* if we ever 
come forth again for y« same purpose (which for 
my part I am much afraid to do) we may not 
come to the dishonour of God, 6l griefe of his 
saints as the last time we did. The Lord render 
you a rich & plentifiill reward for your love & 



faith fulnesse. * * =** It was pride that made me 
afraid to have my weaknesses espied, yea it was 
pride that induced me to yield to their importu- 
nity, because 1 was desirous to have the glory & 
praise of being tractable & easy when intreated & 
not to be noted for a stubborne & of a stiff spirit. 
Now good Sir, strive for me with the Lord y* he 
y* resisteth y® proud and giveth grace to the hum- 
ble, would worke in me another spirit, for you 
see I am wholly composed of pride. 

To my deare friend & very loving brother 
Mr. Thomas Shepard, at New Towne. dd. 

After an account of Mrs. Hutchinson's here- 
sies in 1636, the author of The wonder work- 
ing Providence of Zion's Saviour ' gives this 
curious narration. ^ 

" But to ' end this dismall yeare of sixteene 
hundred thirty-six, take here the sorrowfull com- 
plaint of a poore soule in misse of its expecta- 
tion at landing, who being incountered with 
some Errorists at his first landing, when he 
saw that good old way of Christ rejected by 
them, and hee could not skill in that new light, 
which was the common theame of every man's 
Discourse, hee betooke him to a narrow Indian 
path, in which his serious Meditations soone led 

1 Page 101. 


him, where none but senceless Trees and ec- 
choing Rocks make answer to his heart-easeing 
mone. Oh quoth he where am I become, is 
this the place where those Reverend Preachers 
are fled, ^bat Christ was pleased to make use 
of to rouse up his rich graces in many a droop- 
ing soule; hfere have I met with some that tell 
mee, I must take a naked Christ. Oh, woe is 
mee if Christ be naked to mee, wherewith shall 
I be cloathed, but mcthinks I roost wonder they 
tell me of casting of all godly sorrow for sin as 
unbeseeming a soule, that is united to Christ 
by Faith, and there was a little nimbled tongued 
woman among them, who said she could bring 
me acquainted with one of her own sex that 
would shew me a way, if I could attaine it, 
even Revelations, full of such ravishing joy 
that I should never have cause to be sorry for 
sinne, so long as I live, and as for her part shee 
had attained it already; a company of legall 
Professors, quoth she lie poritig on the Law 
which Christ hath abolished, and when you 
breake it then you breake your joy, and now no 
way will serve your time, but a deepe sorrow. 
These and divers others expressions intimate 
unto mee, that here I shall finde little in- 
crease in the Graces of Christ, through the 
hearing of his word Preached, and other of his 
blessed Ordinances. Oh cunning Devill, the 


Lord Christ rebuke thee, that under pretence 
of a free and ample Gospell ^huts out the soule 
from partaking with the Divine Nature of 
Christ, in that mysticall Union of his Blessed 
Spirit creating, and continuing his Graces* in 
the soule: my deare Christ, it was thj work 
that moved me hither to come, hoping to find 
thy powerfull presence in the Preaching of the 
Word, although administered by sorry men, 
subject to like infirmities with others of God's 
people, and also by the glass of the Law, to 
have my sinfuU corrupt nature discovered daily 
more and more, and my utter inability of any 
thing that is good, magnifying hereby the firee 
grace of Christ; who of his good will and pleas- 
ure worketh in us to will and to doe, working all 
our works in us and for us. 

^^ But here they tell me of a naked Christ, 
What is the whole life of a Christian upon this 
Earth ? But through the power of Christ to die 
to sinne, and live to holinesse and righteous- 
nesse, and for that end to be diligent in the use 
of meanes: at the uttering of this word he starts 
up from the greene bed of his complainte, with 
resolution to hear some one of these able Min- 
isters Preach (whom report had so valued) be- 
fore his will should make choyce of any one 
principle, though of crossing the broade Seas 
back againe, then turning his (ace to the Sun, ho 


steered his course to the next Town, and after 
some small travel] hee came to a large plaine, 
no sooner was hee entered thereon, but hearing 
the sound of a Drum he was directed toward it 
by a broade beaten way, following this rode he 
demands of the next man he met what the sig- 
nall of the Drum ment, the reply was made they 
had as yet no Bell to call men to meeting; and 
therefore made use of a Drum. Who is it, quoth 
hee, Lectures at this Towne. . The other re- 
plies, I see you are a stranger, new come over, 
seeing you know not the man, it is one Mr. 
Shepheard, Verily quoth the other you hit the 
right, I am new come over indeed, and have 
been told since I came, most of your Ministers 
are legall Preachers, only if I mistake not they 
told me this man Preached a finer covenant of 
woorkes than the other, but however I shall 
make what haste I can to heare him. Fare 
you well; then hasting thither hee croudeth 
through the thickest, where having stayed while 
the glasse was turned up twice, the man was 
metamorphosed, and was fain to hang down his 
head often, lest his watry eyes should blab 
abroad the secret conjunction of his aftections, 
the heart crying loud to the Lord^s ecchoing 
answer, to his blessed spirit, that caused the 
Speech of a poore weake pale complectioned 
man to take such impression in his soule at pre- 


102 MEMOIRS or 

sent, bj applying the word so aptly, as if hee 
had beene hisPrivy Counsellor, cleering Christ's 
worke of grace in the soule from all those 
false Doctrines, which the Erronious party had 
affrighted him withall, and now he resolves (the 
Lord willing) to live and die with the Ministers 
of J^Tew England^ whom hee now saw the Lord 
had not onely made zealous to stand for the 
truth of his Discipline, but also of the Doc- 
trine, and not to give ground one inch." 

Cotton Mather, introducing his account of 
Shepard, says, ^^ Let the reader now go with 
me and I will show him one of the happiest men 
that ever we saw; as great a converter of souls 
as has ordinarily been known in our days." ^ 

Again. ^* It was with a respect unto the en- 
lightening and powerful ministry of Mr. Shep- 
ard, that when the foundation of a coUedge was 
to be laid, Cambridge^ rather than any other 
place, was pitched upon to be the seat of .that 
happy seminary." ' 

" Of Mr. Shepard I have been told (says Mr. 
Prince) that he scarce ever preached a sermon 
but some or other of his congregation were 
struck with great distress and cried out in agony, 
^ What shall I do to be saved.' Though his 

1 Magnalin, B. III. Chap. V. 

2 Ibid. 


voice was low yet so searching was his preach* 
ing, and so great a power attending, as a hypo- 
crite could not easily bear it, and it seemed al- 
most irresistible." * 

'^ As he was a very studious person, and a 
very lively preacher, and one who therefore 
took great pains in hi9 preparations y for his pub- 
lick labours, which preparations he would usu- 
ally finish on Saturday by two o'clock in the 
afternoon: with respect whereunto he once used 
these words: God will curse that man's Za- 
bourSy that lumbers up and down in the world all 
the week, and then upon Saturday in the cfiemoon 
goes to his study; when as God knows that time 
were little enough to pray in and weep in, and get 
his heart into a frame Jit for ' the approaching 
Sabbath. So the character of his daily conver- 
sation was a trembling walk with God." ' 

^^ President Edwards styles Mr. Shepard 
^ that famous experimental diving;' and in 
his ^ Treatise concerning religious affections,' 
makes a greater use of his writings, particularly 
of his Parable of the Ten Virgins than of any 
other writings whatever." ' 


This year 1649, Aug. 25. that faithful aad 

1 Priace*8 Sermons published by Dr. Erskine p. 60. 

3 Magnalia, Book III. Chap. V. 

3 Historical Collections, Vol. V. First Series, 45. 


eminent servant of Christ Mr. Thomas Shep-* 
ard died, who was a soul searching Minister of 
the Gospel and Pastor of the Church of Christ 
at Cambridge. By his death not only that 
Church and people, but also all J^eio England 
sustained a very great loss; he not only preached 
the Gospel profitably and very successfully, 
but also hath lefl behind him divers worthy 
works of special use, in reference unto the 
clearing up the state of the soul to God and 
man; the benefit thereof, those can best expe- 
rience who are roost conversant in the improv- 
ing of them and have God^s blessing on them 
therein to their souls good. His Body was 
honourably buried at Cambridge in New Eng- 

^^ ^ Blessed are the dead that die in the Lord, 
for their works follow them.' '* ^ 

The following works of Shepard are men- 
tioned by contemporary writers. 

1. "Among his composures of the more cfoc- 
trinal sort the bell seems to be borne by his elab- 
orate and judicious treatise, entitled theses 
SABBATIC^; wherein he hath handled the moral'- 
i^y of the Sabbath with a degree of reason^ 

* Morto.i'0 N. E»8. Memorial, 1721. p. 169. 


reading, and religion which is truly extraordi- 
nary." ^ 

2. or Cautions aoainst Spiritual 

Drunkenness. — ' In which Sermon, he uttered 
this coinplaint: Do we not see great unaettledness 
in the Covenant of Gody walking with God at 
per adventures, and hanckerings afitr divisions 
and distractions,^ ^ 

3. The Sincere Convert. — " which the au- 
thor would commonly call his ragged child. 
He said: It was a collection of notes in a dark 
town in England, which one procuring of me pub' 
lished vjithout my will or privity. " ^ 

4. The Sound Believer. — A copy of this 
work, lately found in the possession of a mem- 
ber of this parish has this Title page: "The 
Sound Believer. A Treatise of Evangelical 
Conversion. Discovering the Work of Christ^s 
Spirit, in reconciling of a sinner to God. By 
Thomas Shefard, sometime of Emanuel Col- 
lege in Cambridge, since Preacher of God's in 
New England." In the Dedication * To his 
dear Friend, Mr. W. Greenhill,' he says, as a 
reason for publishing this Book, ^ / knew not 
what the Lord's meaning should be to bring to 
light without any privity , knowledge, or will the 

1 Magnalia Book IIL Chap. V, 

2 Ibid. 
9 Ibid, 


former part (referring to the Sincere Convert) 
unless it was to awaken and enforce me, (being 
desired) to publish the rest : our Works I 


BE LEFT IMPERFECT." The Book is fouudcd 
on this text, Hosea XIII. IX. ^ O Israel thou 
hast destroyed thyself ; but in me is thy help. " 
It is well worthy of a reprint. 

5. A Sermon, ^^ tending to clear vp the old 
way of Christ in the Churches of New Eng- 

6. A Letter. " JVcw England's lamentation 
for Old England's Errours," Cambridge 1663. 

7. Select Cases Resolved. 

8. The Church-membership of Children ; and 

9. The Soul's Jewel, in Two Sermons. 

10. The Parable of the Ten Virgins; — 
'whereof the venerable names of Greenhill, 
Calamy, Jackson, Ash, Taylor have sub- 
scribed this testimony. '' That (hough a vein of 
serious^ solid and hearty piety runs through all this 
author's works J yet he hath reserved the best wine 
till the last." ^ 

1 Magnalia , Book ill. Chap. V. For several other works of 
Shepard, see Catalogue of Harvard College Lib; ary, &c. 
Nos. 7, 8 and 9 are in possesticn of ihe ' Historical Society.* 


Perhaps these notices cannot be concluded 
more appropriately than by applying to this emi- 
nent man a ' Funeral Elegy ' on his predecessor 
the famous Hooker, written by Mr. John Cot- 
ton, every word of which is as true of Shepard 
as of the former.^ 

To see three things was holy Austin's wish 
Romein her flower, Christ Jesus in the flesh, 

And Paul i' the Pulpit : Lately men might see 
Two first and more in Shepard's ministry. 

Zion in beauty is a fairer sight 
Than Rome in Flower with all her glory dight : 

Yet Zion's beauty did most clearly shine, 
In Shepard's Rule and Doctrine, both divine. 

Christ in the Spirit is more than Christ in Flesh, 
Our souls to quicken, and our States to bless. 

Yet Christ in Spirit brake forth mightily 
In faithful Shepard 's searching ministry. 

Patd in the Pulpit, Shepard could not reach, 
Yet did he Christ in Spirit so lively preach, 

That living hearers thought he did inherit 
A double Portion of Paul's lively Spirit. 

Prudent in rule, in Argument quick, full, 
Fervent in prayer, in Preaching powerfull ; 

That well did Learned Ames record bear 
The like to him he never wont to hear. 

1 Mo:t.n>8 N. E*s Memorial, 1721. p. 163. 


Twas of Geneva's Worthies said, witli wonder 
(Those Worthies three) Farell was wont to Thunder, 

Vircetj like Rain, on tender Grass to shower : 
But Calvin lively Oracles to pour. 

All these in Shepard's spirit did remain^ 
A Son of Thunder, and a shower of Rain^ 

A pourer forth of lively Oracles, 
In saving Souls the sum of Miracles, 

Now blessed Shepard thou art set on high 
Above the thankless world and cloudy skie ; 

Do thou, of all thy labour reap the Crown, 
Whilst we here reap the seed which thou hast sown. 

An Epitaph, selected from a Latin Elegy 
made upon him, is: 

' Nominis, Officiique fuit Concordia Dulcis ; 
OgUio Pastor, JVbm»7ie Pastor erat.' 

His Name and Office sweetly did agree : 
Shepard, by name, and in his Ministry. 


A parish priest was of tho -tilorim train, 

5\n awftil,Tevorend and religious man : " 

fie boro his ^eat commission in his look, 

6ut sweetly tempered awe, and softened all he spoke : 

Tie preached tho joys of heaven and pains of helL, 

An;l warned the sinner with becoming zeal, — 

Uut on otornal mercy loved to dw4)IU 


There never \vas a chaTacter tnore strongly 
marked than that of the subject of tliis book, 
which at the same time left upon the beholder, 
us the predominating impression, the sense of 
something/ sof^ and beautifi^. In reading the 
Autobiography, and in collecting the notices 
of . its author, two words seemed to express in 
a singularly jtist and perfect manner, the leading 
features of his character and mind : ^ Simplicity 
and godly Sincerity, ' These characteristics strike 
the reader before he has finished many page« 



of the book. What unaffected feeling f It m 
pure nature, flowing like a silent stream over 
its own natural bed. Like the writers of his 
age, he uses words without much regard to 
comeliness of expression, but with « ^semper in- 
stans sibij^ or cumulative, manner, which indi- 
cates a feeling and sincere heart. Sometimes, 
when a preceding sentence has filled us with 
emotion, and we read on, an expression of godly 
sorrow or of pious reflection strikes the mind 
with overcoming power, — while the man himself, 
seemingly unconscious of the greatness of his 
meaning, proceeds immediately to an incidental 
circumstance, after the manner of the sacred 
penman. Thus, after the sublime but mournful 
words of Hezekiah in the prospect of death, 
The grave rannol praisr. tJieCy dealt cannot ccle- 
brate thee ; — the living, l^ie living, he shall praise, 
theey as I do this day, — it is added, as it were \n 
the same breath, For Isaiah had said, Let them^ 
&c. describing the simple remedy that changed 
this sorrow of the king to joy. 

What an illustration of this, and of his simple, 
childlike way of reasoning and feeling, have we 
in his own description of the cause of his first 


Yeligious impressions. ^ When I did light in 
godly company I beard them discourse about 
the wrath of God and tiu» t^rrour of it, and how 
intolerable it was, wbich they did present by fire 
— how intolerable the torment o{that was for a 
lirae — what then would dcrn'dy be ? ' And again, 
as a reason why he ^ did presse the Lord ' to 
^pare the life of bis second sob ; ^ because I 
^sought for y« first, and could not prevayle for 
his life ; and this was sore if the Ij>rd did not hcare 
me for (his.^ 

Instances illustrative of this trait of character 
pervade his life. His reasons for leaving Old 
£ngland, because he thought that he saw the 
Lord departing from it, * when Mr. Cotton and 
Mr. Hooker were gone ; ' his peculiar manner of 
recognizing the su|)er intending providence of 
God, which sometimes excites a smile, it is so 
much like a child's words to his father in the 
dark ; his constant fear of ' crossing the Lord's 
love ; ' his immediate prostration of soul before 
Him at the slightest intimation of His displea- 
sure ; and many other instances of the same 
kind, cannot fail to interest the reader. We 
Bee in them an illustration of the principle that 


in proportion as the character of man te assim- 
ilated to God, a quick sensibflitj to His pre- 
sence, and under the influence of this, a perfect 
simplicity of feeling is begotten in the souL 

He was a man of prayer. When he was very- 
young he ^ wrestled '. for his father's life,. ^ and 
made some covenant if €k>d would spare him.'' 
He notes it as a dark passage in his life when-^, 
at the University, he spent some time ^ in neglect 
of private prayer,' though he ' was not then a 
Christian. What » specimen of intercessory 
prayer is his entreaty for the life of his child.. 
When he had escaped drowning at * Ferry brig^'^ 
(bridge) no sooner had he relieved himself from 
his uncomfortable condition, than he took his 
companions with him and ' went to prayer.*^ 
Thus through his life he walked with God, and 
as the natural effect, he poitred forth such feel- 
ings and expressions in his pu^blic devotional 
services that all his fellow- worshippers felt that 
he had a strange access to the mercy-seat. 
The writer, who gives the history of the for- 
mation of this church, capnot help observing 
that ' Mr. Shepard then made a most heavenly 


He was n man of great humility. He was 
indeed conscious that God iiad made him useful 
as a minister, and that he had gifts which would 
be profitable to the Church io this or any land. 
He did not undervalue himself, or affect a false 
humility by unjust expressions of his unworthi- 
ness, — neither did he, like some, tconsider him- 
self as honoring God the more, in proportion 
as he despised himself or his services. But 
through his life, a consciousness that sin was 
mingled with much that he did, aod that he came 
lar short of his duty, and that ihe was prone to 
forsake God for other sources of enjoyment, 
made him a weeping Prophet. The contrcust of 
his own character with that of his Maker, which 
was impressed upon him so frequently by his 
seasons of fasting 4ind prayer, made him feel 
Mke* Job, when he said-?-^ but now mine eye 
seelh thee ; wherefore I abhor myself, and re- 
pent in dust and ashes/ 

From all this we gather the secret of his 
great success in preaching. Every pious hearer 
knows that whenever he has received spiritual 
benefit from a minister, it has been conveyed 
by thoughts which seemed to have around them 



an unction from the tioly One. Baxter says thnl 
the sermon^ by which he himself found access 
fo the heart, were those which he *had begged 
of the Lord in prayer. In reading Shepard^s 
Sermons, we feel that he had this unction, and 
that he obtained it by his uncommon habits of 
devotion. We are told that he finished his pre- 
paratioR for the Sabbath on Saturday aflernooo, 
and spent the rest of the time before the public 
exercises of the Lord's day, in devout medita^ 
tion atid prayer. He said, when dying, that the 
study of every sern^n r.ost htm tears. The 
truth of this declaration is impressed on his^ 
discourses. He knew where to carry hie rising: 
trains of thought to have them enlarged, and 
rectified, and breathed upon ;. and as he wrestled 
with God for words to express the growing emo- 
tions of his soul^^ there flew one of the seraphin^ 
and touched his lips as with a live coal from off the 
altar. It is evident from his serraenson the Para- 
ble of the Ten Virgins, ^that he spake in woida 
which the Holy Ghost teacheth;' for though 
they manifest extensive reading and research^ 
so that Calamy^ to mention no others, has given 
them the highest praise, it is ptainly evident that 


the efiect which they produce upon the mind 
comes from something in them which is far above 
the ordinary power . of talent or learning. 
As the Saviour describes the secret operation 
of the Spirit by the similitude of the unseen 
wind, so in the preaching* of this holy man, an 
influence fell upon the hearers, like the mys* 
terious, overwhelming presence of the Spirit of 
God. He wrote from his own heart, and was 
therefore sure to reach the heart, detect the 
sins, satisfy the wants, arid comfort the souls of 
others. He was peculiarly successful in ex- 
posing hypocrisy. He fulfilled the prophecy 
concerning the Christian dispensation, in being a 
refiner's fire for the purification of the sons of 
Levi, making many a Christian a priest unto 
God, insomuch that a writer of his time speaks 
of Shepard's church as forming a wonderful ex- 
ception to the spirit of heresy and division which 
entered the churches of New England. The 
fact that it was always ask«d upon the Sabbath 
by those who had not attended worship, ** Who 
was wrought upon to-day? " shows that, like the 
Apostles, he rose to preach, i^xpecting that the 
word of God would take immediate effect. 


LiviDg as he did in such converse with eternal 
scenes, he felt in his own spirit the powers of the 
world to come. Two subjects were favorite 
themes in his discourses : the exceeding sinful- 
ness and the tremendous consequences of sin, 
and the greatness and glory of the Saviour's 
character. There was exceeding tenderness 
and pathos in his invitation of a sinner to Christ. 
He seemedalmost to carry the anxious sinner in 
his arms to the Saviour, and endeavored to make 
him consent, before they parted, that he would 
own Him as his Lord. He was a son of thunder 
as well as of consolation ; but at the close of all 
his terrible denunciations against the wicked, 

*■ The stiller aound succeeds, ami — God is there.' 

There was one circumstance which made his 
preaching instructive as well as convincing. 
From an intimate acquaintance with his own 
heart he was a great casuist. Questions of a 
perplexing nature connected with religious ex- 
perience, and Christian duty, were solved by 
him with great discrimination and skill. His 
'Select Cases Resolved ' consists of answers to 
several inquiries of a Christian friend in Eng- 


land^ of which. two writers of a recommendatory . 
preface to the fourth edition say, * we have sel- 
dom seen acuteness, profoundness, and godliness 
so happily matched.' This gift was cuUivated 
by a striking anxiety that do one of his* flock 
i^ould be a self-deceiver. It was the burden 
of his preachidg to his Church that they should 
kn6w what was the hope of thek callings and 
give diligence to make this calling sure. He 
was incessant in warning every man and teach- 
ing every man, that he might present every 
man faultless in Christ. 

To the Members of this Church, founded and 
established- by this eminent servant of. Christ 
Jesus, there is great instruction and comfort ta 
be derived from this book, which is now affec- 
tionately commended to their regard. A great 
responsibility rests upon us in having had' siicb 
a man iii this interesting relation. There was 
great wisdom, in making a man the founder of 
the Jewish nation, who was pre-eminent for his 
faith ; inasmuch as the trials which Were coming 
upon them would teach them the value of faith 
more than of any thing else, while their rev- 
erence for their patriarch would inspire theiu 


to imitate his example. Your Sliepard suffered 
the loss of all things for Christ, and went through 
muchtribulation^ to found this church. ^ Take, 
my brethren,' this prophet who has spoken to 
you in times past, and now, though dead, in this 
book, ^ for an example of suffering affliction, 
and patience.' You have been called to great 
sacrifices of property, and of feeling, for what 
you believe to be the truth. If the decisions of 
our tribunals are in agreement with the mind of 
Christ, you would not change them. If others 
have said to you, ' Bow down, that we may go 
over^' if they have unjustly taken your funds 
and your sacred vessels, there is One that has 
said, ^ I hate robbery for burnt-offering ; ' and 
must regard the emblems borne in those vessels 
as the shew bread of iniquity and the wine of 
deceit.* Whether they or you are right in this 

* In addition to what ha^ at eady ben Siid upon this mh- 
ject, it may be proper lo sate^ that although nt the time r>r 
the secessio.i of the FirRt Church from the First Parish in Cam- 
bridge, there was property in the pwSsession of the latter to the 
amount of at least 10 or $12,000, thoy novertlieless prosecuted 'ho 
Church for their little find raised :t the Communion tabe. The 
sum of nearly $5000* menti ned in the Preface ofthis b ok, includes 
Flkteaud other Church property. The fund itself waaouly $4100! But 
we are h :ppj to say that uuly ouc haafof liiose male m. tiibwrt of lh« 



church, as well as of all the churches in this 
region. I. The great importance which Shepard 
attached to . the practice of Infant Baptism. 
During his persecution from place to place in 
Old England, it was his anxious care to fin4^ 
a refuge where he could safely obtain the ordi- 
nance of Baptism for a child. And at last, one 
reason which induced him to seek a removal to 
New England, was that he could here enjoy this 
ordinance in its purity. There is no passage 
in his life more affecting than that in which he 
is so particular to remind his son that he has 
been baptised. ^And after we had been here 
diverse weekes,' he tells him * God gave thee the 
ordinance of Baptism, whereby God is become 
thy God, and is beforehand with thee, so that 
when thou shalt return ta God he will undoubt- 
edly receive thee.' One of the most nble of his 
works is entitled ^ The Church Membership of 
Children f and their right to Baptism^ <iccording 
to that holy and everlasting Covenant of God es^ 
tablished between Himself and the faithful and 
their sefid after them in their generations.^ In 
this book he shows, with singular .acuteness, 
that God had from the beginning an outward 


and inward covenant with men, and that all the 
Jewish nation were admitted to the outward 
oovenftBJt, in order that by external privileges 
they might be ^ Jews inwardly. ' He then proves 
that '^ the covenant then and now is for sub- 
slaace the same," 1. Because the covenant 
made with Abraham is renewed in the Gospel, 
Heb. viii. 10. 2. Because Abraham's covenant 
is ''of Gospel and eternal privileges." 3. Be- 
cause there was never any covenant but it was 
either of grace or loorks ; that of grace which was 
made with Abraham, — ^that of works, on Mount 
Sinai. '' But (Gal. iii. 17.) the covenant which 
was confirmed afore bt Christ, the law 480 
years after cannot disannul." 5. Because the 
(HTomise, I will be a God to thee and thy seed, 
does not belong to the mere lineai descend- 
ants of Abraham, inasmuch as it is said of the 
Jews, 'they are^ broken off by unbelief ^ and by 
faiih shall be grafi^d in.' If therefore they 
were broken off by vnbeliefy then they stood as 
members of the church by faith ; and if hj faith 
they should be graffed tn, then they stood by 
faith at first. Hence not the lineal but the 
fail&ful descendants, are heirs according* to the 


promise. If so, believers under the New Tes- 
tament have the same privilege with ancient 
Jews, viz. ; that their children are included with 
them in the covenant. He then shows that 
'^ there is the same inward cause moving God, 
to take in the children of believing church 
members into the church and covenant now, to 
be of the number of his people, as there was ibr 
taking the Jews and their children. For the 
only reason why the Lord took in the children 
of the Jews with themselves was his love to- 
wards them. ^ Because he laved thyfathefay there^ 
fore he chose their seed.' Deut. iv. 37, and x. 15. 
So that I do from hence believe that either God's 
love is in these days of his gospel less unto his 
people and servants than in the days of the Old 
Testament ; or if it be as great, that then the 
same love respects the seed of his people now 
as then it did. And therefore, if then because 
He loved them, He chose their ^eed to be of his 
church: so in these days, because He loveth «5, 
He chooseth our seed to be of his church also." 
The common arguments against Infant Bap- 
tism are answered in an original and satisfactory 
manner. It is objected, he says, that * if chil- 



dren be members^ then they must come to the 
Lord's supper; for you know no differenee be- 
tween member and member, in point of. privi- 
lege, unless they be under some sin.' Answer. 
^ Yes, verily, there is a plain difference between 
member and member (though professing believ- 
ers) in point of privileg'e, though they be under 
no sin: for a man may speak and prophesy in the 
church, not women. A company of men may 
make a church, and so receive in and capt out 
of the church, but not toonsen, though professing 
saints.' Be also argues that ^ a man may be- 
lieve in Christ, and yet be very ignorant of the 
nature, use, and ends of the Lord's supper; 
now such may be baptized as soon as ever faith 
appears, Mark xvi. 16 ; but they may not be 
admitted to the Lord's supper, because through 
their extreme ignorance, they cannot discern 
the Lord's body. If therefore children be able 
to examine themselves and discern the Lord's 
body, they may then eat.* He then answers 
the following question: ^ What good is it ei- 
ther for a wicked or an elect child, till he be 
converted, to be in the Church ? or what good 
may any have by being in the Church till they 


ean profit by what they enjoy ? ' Answer. ^ Thfe 
Apostle puts the like cftse, and gives you an 
answer: what advantage kath the JeWy and tehai 
profit is there in eircwncisian. What use or 
profit could the infants then make of their 
church covenant, membership, or seal, who nn* 
^erstand none of these things ? Do you think 
the Lord exposed his holy ordinances then unto 
eonftempt, and is more carefiil that they may be 
more profitably ased now? was there no goo^ 
hy circumcision ? Yea, saith the Apostle, ttittdk 
everif teag,* An illustration of this point in 
another place in his book, is this : ^ Thes^ 
children may not be the sons of €rod and his 
people, really and savingly, but God will honor 
them outwardly at least with his name and priv- 
ilege; ju8t 08 one that adopts a youngster telh 
the father that if the chOd carry himself weU 
toward him, when fte is grown up to yearly he 
shall possess the inheritance itself ; hut yd in the 
mean while he shall have this favor to be called 
his son, and be of his family and householdy and 
so be reckoned among the number of his sons.* 

But to leave his argument, what amazing 
power did this man possess over his son by ] 


being able to say to him, God gave thee the 


what a loss is it to a parent who cannot lay 
upon a child this solemn responsibility of choos- 
ing the service of that God who has so gracious- 
ly included him in His covenant . ^ What would 
Shepard say to the members of our churches 
who have forsaken the covenant of their God, 
in neglecting this invitation and promise to their 
seed? This son was early a subject of renew* 
ing grace, and reflected great honor upon his 
father's memory and upon the Church, as a 
faithful and distinguished minister. All his 
children of whom we have any knowledge were 
likewise useful in the Church, verifying the 
promise of Grod to him and ^ to his seed.' 

The Half-Way covenant, that polluter of the 
fountain set open for Judah and Jerusalem, was 
invented at a. later day, in order to make men 
nominally Church members, that so they might 
be eligible to offices of civil trust; and because 
piety had greatly declined, it was thought that 



by ioriting all who would ^acknowledge the 
covenant/ and thus be entitled to baptism for 
their diildren^ (though they themselves were 
prohibited from the Lord's supper) there would 
in this way be a good prospect of securing a 
righteous seed in the coming generation. Such 
howeyer was the confidence of our fathers in 
the moral influence of having been baptized, 
when the subjects themselves should come to 
years of reflection. But, alas! multitudes at the 
present day, with only a superficial acquaintance 
or rather an entire ignorance of the nature of 
the Covenant with believers, have been deterred 
from availing themselves of this blessed privi- 
lege, by the ridicule, or the sophistical or equal- 
ly superficial objections of Christian friends. 
A great part of those who practise the Ordi- 
nance, it is to be feared, think of it only as a 
solemn formality of giving a child a name! 
The Apostle reproving nn ancient Church for 
its abuse of the Lord's supper, says, ' Fer this 
cause many ate weak and sickly among yon, and 
many gleep.^ May not the present acknowl- 
edged state 6f declension in many of our 
Churches, and the low stuidard of piety, and 


our freqiient exposure, especially at tiihes of 
great religious interest, to sectarian proselytidiiiy 
proceed in part from the Jamentabie neglect of 
the Coveaant which Grod made with us in Abra* 
ham? Should H not be a solemn iaquiry with 
all the meoibers of our churches, who ate heg* 
looting the baptism of their children, whethi^r, 
thus far at least, they do not break covenant 
with their God ? 

II. In the conduct of Shepard at the forination 
of the Church in Dorchester, where with a bold- 
ness and fidelity seldom imitated, he refused to 
lay hands on some of the candidates for mem* 
bership, we see a spirit whicl^ is a saft^guard of 
the Churches against corr«ptiott, from the ad- 
mission of unworthy members. 

That indiscriminating ^judgment of charity' 
which has been the rule to so great an extent 
in the admission of members to the church, 
however it may appear to some to Indicitte a 
kind heart, is a mistaken and ruinous principle. 
Shepard thought that if those individuals to 
whose admission he demurred, wer^ Really 
Christians, their rejection could not prejudice 


their fiRal acceptance by Christ. He chose to 
err, if at ail, on the side of the general good^ 
rather than of individual feeling. It is believed 
that his example in this respect will confirm 
those churches in their ptocedure, who have 
lately determined on the observance of stricter 
rules, and a more thorough investigation of the 
evidences of Christian character in respect to 
candidates for the Church. The Saviour has 
lately been amongst some of the Churches of 
this region with his fan, and has thoroughly 
purged his floor. The foundation has been 
laid anew in many places for a more spiritual 
temple» Let us be careful what we build upon 
thb foundation, that, if possible, the super- 
structure may roI soon again be tried by fire. 
Members of the Church must feel that a solemn 
responsibility rests on each of them, and not 
merely upon the minister, to guard the purity 
of the Church,, both by their own holy living, and 
by refimiog to lay hands suddenly on any man. 
While the Priest ministers at the altar, they, like 
Vestal Yirgiasy must see that its sacred fire 
is fed, and that iniquity like a flood no longer 
deluges the pilgrim sanctuaries. 


To conclude. A thought which interests and 
fills the soul when we read the lives of learned, 
eloquent, yet humble, afiectionate men, is, that 
these minds are not lost, but are now * living unto 
Grod.' What an assemblage of greatness and glory 
is gathered together in heaven ! What an amount 
of sanctified, noble intellect! What vast variety 
of character] what infinitely diversified powersi 
God is constantly increasing the beauty and 
glory of this society by the accession of great 
and good men from this earth. As one and 
another of the eminent servants of Jesus have 
of late gone to their rest, and we have con- 
templated their meeting in heaven with those 
whose characters they and we have loved, how 
desirable has it seemed to die ; nay, rather, that 
whilst we live, we should, by all means, so im- 
prove our Christian character, our intellectual 
and moral powers, that we may be fitted for the 
society of the great and just. May this be the 
endeavor of all who reverence the name of 
Shefard, or, like the members of this Church, 
have in their pious recollection the example of 
▲ FRIEND, whose life on earth has made him a 
Morning star in the firmament of heaven. 



i »' 






JUN 1 2 7356